IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: * describe what the group does * explain why the group is good for the community * suggest alternative days and times for practice

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I am writing to you on behalf of “Laiden Band” in reference to the cancellation of the use of the town hall by my band for rehearsals which take place every Tuesday and Friday evenings. “Laiden Band” is a group of talented musicians inspired to write and perform original songs in a
variance
Replace the word
variety
show examples
 of languages.
This
Linking Words
 group comprises various skilled individuals ranging from vocal singers like the Lead singer and backups to instrumentalists
such
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 as the drummer and guitarists.
Firstly
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, the band has helped bring together a diversity of great talents in the vicinity who need a platform to be creative and shine.
Additionally
Linking Words
, whenever we perform at the community square, it brings the community together in an atmosphere where they can unwind and listen to good music which edifies their souls; and we have gotten great feedback from various residents. We understand that the days chosen for our rehearsals might be a constraint especially Friday because of the weekly “T.G.I.F” events that take place at the hall but we are receptive to reconsidering changing our Friday evening schedule to Thursday evening from 3pm to 6pm if
that is
Linking Words
 appropriate enough. I earnestly await your swift and positive response. Yours faithfully, Oluwadamilola Owolabi.

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity. Avoid combining multiple points in one paragraph.
complete response
Although the explanation of the band's activities and benefits is clear, consider providing a bit more detail or example for stronger impact.
complete response
The letter clearly explains what the group does and why it is beneficial to the community.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, appropriate for the context.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear logical structure with proper greeting and closing.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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