Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Few people argue that phone usage at school should be restricted
while
some others believe that Linking Words
students
should be allowed to utilize their mobile Use synonyms
phones
. Personally, I completely agree with the first statement because bringing Use synonyms
phones
to schools can affect the children's concentration and social interaction.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
phones
can be extremely useful, especially in today's climate where the internet has become an unavoidable part of our daily life. Young pupils can Use synonyms
use
their handphones to find study materials that are not available in the textbooks. Use synonyms
This
is going to be beneficial for both the teachers and Linking Words
students
because the internet encompasses diverse subjects that will add more knowledge for its users. Use synonyms
For instance
, back Linking Words
then
when I was in high school, we had to learn about the history of movie theaters and arts. Truthfully, it was quite hard to find the topics in physical books. Linking Words
Hence
, the teachers permitted us to Linking Words
use
gadgets and there were an abundance of magazines and articles that were very helpful for our homework.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it is very understandable why many people support banning Linking Words
phones
as they can affect concentration and social life. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
phones
can really affect young children's attention as many of them Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
phones
for the wrong purposes like playing games, whether during break time or even in the classroom when they supposedly need to pay full attention to the lecturers. Use synonyms
Additionally
, games are very addicting and it tends to be very difficult to stop playing them. Linking Words
Consequently
, they will waste their time playing games rather than talking to their schoolmates. Linking Words
This
is Linking Words
then
proven by the recent report from Del Primary Academy that shows about 68% of its Linking Words
students
no longer like to do physical activities with their friends and prefer to Use synonyms
use
social media at rest time.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, even though Linking Words
phones
can be helpful Use synonyms
to add
more knowledge, the possible drawbacks are worse as they can disturb Change preposition
in adding
students
' concentration and social roles. Use synonyms
That is
why I agree to ban Linking Words
phones
from schools.Use synonyms
Submitted by elissa223 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to clearly outline your main points in your introduction to provide the reader with a roadmap of your essay. Additionally, make sure each paragraph seamlessly transitions into the next by using cohesive devices and clear topic sentences that connect back to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
While you provided relevant examples to support your argument, ensure that you fully develop each point by elaborating more on how and why these examples support your main argument. Aim for deeper analysis rather than superficial descriptions.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas and paragraphs. Avoid overusing any one particular linking word and aim for variety.
Task Achievement
Although the essay provides an answer to the question, you could strengthen task achievement by ensuring that your opinion is stated clearly and reiterated in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance to the reader.
Task Achievement
Remember to address all parts of the prompt. While you have given both views and your opinion, make sure you also explore the opposing view fully. This will present a more balanced argument before stating your own opinion.