Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #university #education

It is certainly true and I agree that the best way to achieve success in life is to complete a

university

graduation

whereas

others believe that it is not correct in current times. I have discussed both views below and justified my opinion. A

university

education

is the foundation and a minimum qualification in order to meet the required skills to be successful in life.

In other words

, the curriculum-related academic and extra-curricular activities learned during graduation significantly support to develop the maturity and some vital social skills.

As a result

, a person's self-confidence and teamwork ability increase which results in good leadership quality.

In addition

, persons exposed to tremendous competition, and, because of

this

, they become more stronger and independent. These above-all merits help individuals to be most successful in business, jobs or personal relationships.

Nevertheless

, some people deny and believe that a

university

education

does not play an important role in success in the current times.

This

is because some persons who are not even graduates establish millions of dollars company with the help of their inherent capability, rich experience and own perspective.

Education

does not help in any way to build their asset. These entrepreneurs understand that experience is a quality to achieve a goal , not a qualification.

Due to

advancements in technology in the

last

decade , things are easily available which do not require any struggle or complication.

For instance

, in many parts of India, the villagers started their own businesses after the COVID-19 pandemic based on their own past experience and they got remarkable profits without knowing the leadership lessons from college or schools. In conclusion, a

university

education

is a key mandate to be a great leader and achieve success in life and I totally agree and follow

this

however

, It is a fact that many achievements stories have been found where the persons do not even complete college graduation and is still a powerful leader.

Submitted by ahv on Sat Jul 06 2024

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task-achievement

Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. Although you discuss both views, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion in terms of length and depth for each perspective.

coherence-cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. This will help in making the essay more logically structured.

task-achievement

Expand on your examples to make them more relevant and specific. This will help to clearly illustrate your points and make your argument stronger.

coherence-cohesion

Refine the conclusion to briefly summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion in a more concise manner. This will provide a clearer and more impactful ending.

overall

Work on sentence variety and complexity to enhance clarity and engagement. Try to avoid repetitive phrasing.

introduction

The essay introduces both viewpoints clearly and states your opinion effectively.

conclusion

Your conclusion appropriately encapsulates your viewpoint and ties back to the discussion effectively.

coherence-cohesion

The main ideas presented are relevant to the topic and well-organized within the paragraphs.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

university education
higher pay
sweated and sacrificed
higher education
time, effort, and financial investment
specialized knowledge and skills
job prospects
economic contributions
valuable contributions
fairness and equality

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