You have read a magasine article that mentionned a place you are familiar with There was a mistake in the article. Write a letter to the editor of the magasine and say what error was explain that you are familiar with the place wgy it is omportant to correct the error

#magasine #article #place #mistake #editor #error #wgy #omportant

Dear Editor, Hope you are doing fine, I am writing

this

letter to you regarding the magazine you published. It was released

last

month and it is about the place you featured. Manaoag is a small town in the province of Pangasinan, it is my hometown, where I grew up and stayed.

First,

you described the town as one of the biggest which is not,

second,

the main source of living is farming not fishing because we are not surrounded by bodies of water,

instead

, we have a big rice field.

Lastly

, our church is not the main tourist spot

however

it is famous, we

also

have different places you can explore from there.

For example

, we have

this

hill which is very popular because of its beautiful sunset view. These features of my hometown need to be corrected as many people can read your article and it

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

gives respect

who

Change preposition

to who

show examples

are living in that place. Hope you consider these corrections. Thank you. Sincerely yours, Abby Abbot

Submitted by Zaratejoanna1290 on Sun Jan 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, consider using a range of connectors and cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea or topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea in a focused manner.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by ensuring that any prompts given are answered completely and directly.

task achievement

Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter, aligning it with the context and purpose of your correspondence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

169 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
In the near future, people believe the use of technology will rise perspectively, especially the usage of electronic news and books. It has become popular nowadays and will have rapid growth in the future. It is agreed that newspapers or physical books will not be a choice among readers a few years later. Analysing the surge increase of digital book popularity, as well as the cheaper option to acquire a piece of information nowadays. Therefore, it will prove newspapers and books in nearly final era.
6
band
Some people think that is better to work alone and others think that is better to work in a team. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and details to support your opinion.
Some people harbour a belief that is more efficient to work alone, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint that collaborative work is effective. Both perspectives are equally important and depend on an individual's personal characteristics and working styles. As an introvert, I am inclined to work alone and that brings me to concentrate on my work. Personally, I think workers should strike a balance between self-working and collaborative work because the job forces them to work in a group in moderation.
6.5
band
The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reason.
Smoking in common places is becoming a big concern for different communities and many believe that authorities should pass a law to forbid smoke usage in shared areas. However, it limits an individual ‘s liberty. I entirely disagree with the mentioned statement and this essay highlights its upsides and drawbacks.
4.5
band
People today are spending more and more time outside of the home. What are the reasons for this trend? What effects is it having on individuals and society?
In this contemporary era, no one hardly likes to utilise time with family. It is believed that spending myriad hours outside the accommodation is mostly preferred by a group of individuals. Although, several causes of this phenomenon are hectic schedules and the influence of peer groups which largely disturb the family relations of individuals and distract the younger generation in the community.
6
band
The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, as internet become a media that the majority of people can access, plus it is remotely effective in a wide range of needs. This leads to the high volume of internet users who also uses it in education aspects, and this gradually replaces actual books. However, it disagrees that the internet would replace the need for books. The fact that the internet can be installed in a limited place and the high risk of facing fake information will prove this.

You have read a magasine article that mentionned a place you are familiar with There was a mistake in the article. Write a letter to the editor of the magasine and say what error was explain that you are familiar with the place wgy it is omportant to correct the error

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that is better to work alone and others think that is better to work in a team. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and details to support your opinion.

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reason.

People today are spending more and more time outside of the home. What are the reasons for this trend? What effects is it having on individuals and society?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?