16.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As the site of burgeoning new residential areas is becoming more and more common, there is inherently emerging a host of dilemmas, the most thorny of which is
town
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planning.
Therefore
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, the authority is still considering whether the construction of public
parks
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and sports facilities
,
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apply
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or shopping
centres
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should be given
the
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apply
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priority. Personally, I am of the view that the former should be prioritized over the latter. There is no denying that the development of public
parks
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and sporting facilities
to bring
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brings
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about immense benefits for the well-being of the community.
First,
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as sporting facilities are erected,
health-consciousness
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health consciousness
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is likely to be cultivated among community members. A case in point is the Sports Center in my hometown
that
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which
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dispenses a decent number of classes with quality instruction.
This
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, in turn, incentivizes local residents to actively engage in physical activities, which has substantially benefited their health.
Furthermore
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, thanks to their closeness to nature,
parks
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are the go-to destinations for those seeking natural therapy in that visitors can admire the beauty of the flora and fauna. Public
parks
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are
also
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known as ideal meeting spots. Some
parks
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, even have designated areas for
such
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social gatherings as outdoor barbecues, which
further
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facilitates positive social dynamics.
While
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shopping
centres
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are of certain use to
town
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dwellers, it is important not to disregard their negative implications. On the one hand, an immediate benefit of shopping would be that customers can have their needs immediately accommodated simply by visiting the nearest shopping mall.
However
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,
this
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is largely overshadowed by
possible
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the possible
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risks of escalating consumerism and its dire consequences on the environment. More often than not, customers could easily indulge themselves in impulsive behaviours since products are orchestrated in eye-catching ways.
This
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subliminal manipulation is the main culprit behind a consumerist society with uncontrollable consumption rates and immense waste output.
As a result
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, the inclusion of shopping
centres
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in
town
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planning could exert negative impacts on our planet. In conclusion, it stands to reason that the
town
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planners should place more emphasis on the development of public
parks
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and sporting services, rather than shopping
centres
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.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or elaborating further on the benefits of public parks and sports facilities to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points are interconnected to enhance the overall flow of your essay. Linking phrases can be useful here.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, setting a solid foundation for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear topic sentences and a well-defined conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • recreational areas
  • green spaces
  • cityscape
  • well-being
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • ecosystem
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • consumer culture
  • retail therapy
  • land use
  • zoning regulations
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
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