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Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development

#population #people #children #development
Normally in many societies, many couples hope and make efforts to have children as soon as possible after they marry. In fact,
"childfree"
Correct article usage
the "childfree"
show examples
 phenomenon which refers to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
couples who decide not to have children has increased greatly and become a new trend . In my view,
this
 phenomenon should be perceived as a positive trend for two main reasons. The first reason why childfree is a great decision is because
Submitted by Deddymus on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with an introduction that provides some context, but it does not clearly present a thesis statement outlining the position on whether the trend is positive or negative. The introduction of the term 'childfree' is appropriate, but the position needs to be explicitly stated.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is not fully established, as the essay ended abruptly without developing the argument. The essay needs to be expanded with supporting points, a clear progression of ideas, and a proper conclusion.
supported main points
Main points are mentioned but not supported with explanations, evidence, or examples. For an improved score, each point must be explained and supported in a separate paragraph with clear topic sentences.
complete response
The response is incomplete and the ideas are not comprehensive. To fully address the question, you need to discuss both positive and negative aspects (if your position allows) and provide relevant examples or evidence to support your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Without clear and comprehensive ideas presented, the task achievement is low. It is essential to cover the topic sufficiently by discussing implications, reasons, or specific examples to back up your stance.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks specific examples and relevant details that could strengthen the argument. Using clear and pertinent examples can help illustrate the argument and contribute to a higher task achievement score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shifts
  • fertility rates
  • sustainable development
  • economic forecasts
  • social security systems
  • work-life balance
  • resource allocation
  • ecological footprint
  • intentional childlessness
  • individualism
  • multigenerational households
  • cultural transmission
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