It is often tought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, juvenile delinquency has consistently been a topic of interest among the masses.
While
Linking Words
there are compelling arguments in favour of those more and more violent elements in media increase the crime
rate
Use synonyms
among teenagers, there are
also
Linking Words
significant reasons to approach it with scepticism. Despite its contentious nature, I am inclined to oppose the viewpoint, as I believe the main reason should be the workaholic
parents
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss some solutions to the
problem
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
the number of video games, movies and comedies which include violent scenes is increasing, and it is hard to not connect the rising juvenile crime
rate
Use synonyms
with violent media.
However
Linking Words
, numerous research pointed out that the paramount reasons must stem from
children
Use synonyms
's workaholic
parents
Use synonyms
. The data showed that teenagers who felt emotionally connected to at least one parent were up to a third less likely to show types of
problem
Use synonyms
behaviour.
Thus
Linking Words
, the low connection between the
parents
Use synonyms
and their
children
Use synonyms
leads to some teenagers tempt to use anti-social behaviours as a means to acquire
parents
Use synonyms
' concerns,
such
Linking Words
as drug and alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancies or even some adolescents would join local gangs to fulfil the shortage of love and care from family members. It is
therefore
Linking Words
reasonable that I believe
parents
Use synonyms
with no time to listen to their
children
Use synonyms
pose a greater threat. In order to effectively solve the
problem
Use synonyms
, the governments, schools and
parents
Use synonyms
should play the key roles.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the governments should control the inflation
rate
Use synonyms
and give some subsidies to families which have a newborn baby. In
this
Linking Words
way, one of the people in the double-income family can spend time taking care of their
children
Use synonyms
by talking and listening. If the
children
Use synonyms
have healthy concepts and mental, the probability of future negative behaviours would decline.
Secondly
Linking Words
, schools can provide some after-school extracurricular like painting, singing, and organisating football clubs.
Instead
Linking Words
of roaming on streets, participating in talent classes is a better choice for
children
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
are the vital factors in the whole issue and should spend most strength on it.
For example
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
should always make themselves available at the four key times of the day : early morning, immediately after school, suppertime and bedtime and always have meals and share life with
children
Use synonyms
. If people can follow
such
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
-solving suggestions step-by-step, the complexity of the
problem
Use synonyms
could be underscored and resolved effectively. In conclusion, reflecting upon the point of view that enormous violent media sources tend to increase teenage crime rates. Given the consideration, my allegiance that hardworking
parents
Use synonyms
with no time were the main reason is steadfastly consolidated and incontrovertible firm, and the governments, and school teachers need to make every effort to prevent juvenile delinquency
rate
Use synonyms
increase.
Submitted by jasmine2001tw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction directly addresses the question, providing a clear statement of your position regarding the causes of juvenile crime.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support your ideas. While you mention research, providing concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using clearer and more varied transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance cohesion by referencing ideas in the introduction throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent thread of argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: