IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Full-time university students spend much of their time on study. Some people think it is essential for them to take other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there are more undergraduate students who are focusing their time on education
while
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 they evade other activities which essential to their lives. I totally agree with the argument of taking other exercises because both studying and doing other actions should in balanced.
This
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 essay will elaborate on the reason through the following paragraphs. The main impact of spending more hours on academics is recruitment would get a lot of stress. When enlistment have to graduate on point, they should fill in all the requirements from the university
such
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 as tasks from different sub-majors which have levels of difficulty.
Thus
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 variety of tasks could put a lot of pressure on the student which leads to high stress in their mind if they keep pace on focusing on their class.
Hence
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, they need to harmony their course with other activities which can keep their mind fresh all day.
On the other hand
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, mixed up with another exercise can help pupil develop their self-skills in society. They can build positive relations with others when they get in contact with another scholar.
This
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 will make them advance their ability in non-academic which lead to the equity of their mindset.
For instance
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, having an activity in the speech club could give admission to the ability to be speakers in front of folks which is advantageous to their future lives. In conclusion, I believe that it is important to spend a lot of moment studying.
Nevertheless
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, it should be balanced with other activities. These tensions can make them keep fresh and impact to development of society skills which could be useful for their future life.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph clearly expresses one main idea and that ideas follow a natural progression from one to the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure both the introduction and conclusion are well-developed by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarising your main points in the conclusion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear explanations, elaborations, and where appropriate, examples. Make an effort to develop the main points fully within each paragraph.
task achievement
Fully address the task by ensuring that you respond to all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Make sure you explain your viewpoint fully and explore different aspects of the topic as required.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively throughout the essay. Avoid over-complicated sentences and ensure that the intended meaning is always clear.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments. These examples should be clearly linked to the main points that you are trying to make.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-rounded education
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Personal growth
  • Soft skills
  • Burnout
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Employability
  • Practical experiences
  • Academic excellence
  • Mastery
  • Time management
  • Self-discovery
  • Social interaction
  • Building networks
  • Career opportunities
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