Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

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In
this
era, the sports sector has witnessed a significant alteration. A wide range of individuals believe that it is wasting of
money
to hold athletic occasions,
while
others are thinking in a
conversely
way. In
this
context, both arguments will be illustrated. On the one hand, sports tournaments can have a substantial impact.
Firstly
, visitors will affect the country's infrastructure.
This
is funded by the
people
's taxes.
This
can inspire
people
to avoid paying their taxes and disobeying rules.
Furthermore
, the
government
will invest a
lot
of
money
in these ceremonies.
This
money
can be spent on other crucial sectors,
such
as infrastructure, the sanitation system, and the healthcare sector.
This
can improve
people
's satisfaction.
According to
Manchester University, the Qatrian
government
funded the
last
World Cup with a quarter billion dollars.
This
money
can construct a fifth-generation city.
On the other hand
, these festivals and occasions can provide a
lot
of benefits.
Initially
, it can offer a diverse range of job opportunities. These jobs can be a source of income for a
lot
of
people
and institutions.
Moreover
, the tourism rate will grow. It will have a
lot
of outcomes. The country will be known among nations.
This
will make other tourists know more about
this
country and its culture.
Finally
, it will be a critical source of foreign currency.
This
currency can help in trading imports. In his book, Olympics Profits, Gorge Weah highlighted that because of the high visitors of European individuals to Brazil in the
last
Olympic tournament, the Brazilian
government
gained avenue by Euro from the visitors.
This
money
assisted the
government
in purchasing their needs from Europe nations. In conclusion, there will be a debate on
this
argument.
Nevertheless
, I agree with the concept of holding ceremonies.
This
will provide a
lot
of merits in many sectors. These amenities will reflect on the economy and society.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all points in the introduction are clearly reflected in the body paragraphs, maintaining consistency throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
While the essay provides a good range of ideas, they could be made more comprehensive by slightly expanding on each point to fully develop the argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas, but try to include a more explicit final opinion on the impact of hosting large sports events.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay effectively introduces both perspectives and provides a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Examples provided, such as financial investments in Qatar and Brazil, are relevant and add depth to the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by argument presentation, and concluding with a personal view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • financial management
  • economic benefits
  • global recognition
  • investment
  • displacement
  • legacy
  • long-term plan
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • essential services
  • international image
  • local economy
  • financial losses
  • contextual benefits
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