IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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We live in
this
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 age where
computers
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 are massively used for any activities that are involved in any human's daily life. Some people believe that the creation of
this
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machine
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 is the most crucial thing in mankind's history
due to
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 its multiple functionality and ability to generate more advanced technologies.
On the other hand
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, people state that
computers
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 are dependent on other technologies. The first invention of
computers
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 is believed as a huge change in human civilization for providing all-in-one solutions tools and developing more innovation. As a solid
machine
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, a computer is able to support several things like calculation, memory storage and communication. These incredible features for just one
machine
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 are believed effective in increasing the productivity of any individual.
Moreover
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, nowadays there is
highly
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high
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 discussion about the more incredible technology that was handed down by
computers
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. Artificial Intelligence, the Internet of Things and Blockchain,
for instance
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, are examples of
further
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 expansion of a computer.
However
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, there is consideration for the reason why a computer is not the most important creation. The simple fact about the need for electricity in terms of providing power to
computers
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 develops uncertainty about its great invention. Despite that fact of reliance on power support, the result of how
computers
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 successfully transform these days society is outrageous.
Additionally
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, within the development of science, almost every invention is dependent on other existing tools. In conclusion, even though the important power supply for
computers
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 is believed a dependency on
this
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 technology,
this
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machine
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 plays a principal role in efficiency in human productivity and the creation of more innovation to be stated as the most fundamental
machine
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.

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task achievement
Make sure that your essay always contains a clear central argument that is relevant to the prompt. Ambiguity in position can detract from the overall impact of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing more cohesive transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better flow. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively (but not excessively).
coherence cohesion
Use a mix of complex sentence structures to improve coherence and showcase a higher level of English proficiency.
task achievement
Include richer, more specific examples to support your main points. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revolutionized
  • Productivity
  • Efficiency
  • Integration
  • Transform
  • Facilitating
  • Instant connections
  • Expand
  • Geographical barriers
  • Research and data analysis
  • Vast amounts of data
  • Privacy concerns
  • Digital divide
  • Dependency on technology
  • Interconnectedness
  • Innovations
  • Discoveries
  • Contention
  • Significant inventions
  • Accelerating the pace
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