IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

all cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree ?

#cars #fuels #car
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At the pace technology is advancing, human lifestyle is bound to change. Over the years we have developed enough technology to make a real electric car, which a hundred years ago would have been just a dream,
however
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,
this
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 has started new debates,
for example
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, if fossil fuel-powered
cars
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 should be banned and replaced. I personally think that
although
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 electric
cars
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 might be the future, the problem is more complicated than just banning non-renewable energy sources
cars
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 and replacing them, since both have their ups and downs.
While
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 it is certainly true that, electrically powered
cars
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 typically have a smaller carbon footprint than gasoline
cars
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, even when accounting for the electricity used in charging and that the greenhouse emissions associated with an electric vehicle over its lifetime are usually lower than those from an average gasoline-powered vehicle, they are not the new messiah of transport as they have their own flaws. Despite the facts written above these types of
cars
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also
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 bring a lot of downsides, to illustrate, the production of a lithium-ion battery consumes three more times CED (cumulative energy demand), compared to a generic battery,
furthermore
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, the methods to obtain lithium can be intensive, as massive quantities of water are diverted during these operations,
as well as
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 contaminating near land and water, leaving nearby communities and wildlife in a really negative position. In conclusion,
although
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, EVs have a smaller carbon footprint and produce fewer greenhouse emissions, the manufacturing and the process to make one can be as negative to the environment as the fossil fuel ones,
nevertheless
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, if the industry becomes more productive and battery production more efficient it would be possible to replace fossil fuels completely.
Submitted by alonsoddel78 on

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task response
Ensure a clear viewpoint or position on the topic throughout the essay. Ambiguity can reduce the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or data to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Aim for a more balanced structure with equal development of all parts of your essay, including the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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