Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

These days, many people decide to encourage and make their teenagers delighted. So, the best way to do

this

is to give them gifts.

However

, there are some arguments about what type of gift can be the most suitable one. Some people believe that money can be a suitable option,

while

others think differently. In

this

essay, both views will be discussed with examples. Starting with the first point of view, giving cash as a present to them would make them astonished.

This

is because they feel that these young individuals demand money more than anything else.

For instance

, going to school by public transportation or purchasing necessary books cost them a lot. Another reason can

Correct your spelling

show examples

that most of the time, we are unaware of their favourite items.

In other words

, the present we give them might not be useful for them. Take a person who is

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in sports as an example. If you give him a bottle of wine, he would not be that happy.

On the other hand

, others think there are lots of things except cash, which can make them surprised. They hold the view that other things, like novel books or a ticket for a philharmonic concert, would be more valuable. The reason is that more often, these young humans are not able to buy, because of the extortionate prices. In conclusion, some human feel that the most valuable present for teenagers can be money,

although

other people do not think the same way. In my view, both options may be excellent, and

this

really depends on the person who is going to be surprised.

Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on Wed Jan 24 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure you have a clear structure for your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

Maintain coherence by ensuring clear connections between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use linking words to help guide the reader through your argument and to show the relationships between points.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task equally. In this case, it seems you focused a little more on one view than the other. Try to give balanced treatment to both sides of the discussion before giving your opinion.

Task Achievement

Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples. The more specific you can be, the better you can illustrate your points, which supports task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on sentence structure and punctuation to ensure clarity. In some instances, your sentences are quite long and could be broken down for better readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your conclusion can be stronger. Restate the main points and your opinion more clearly to give the reader a sense of closure.

Task Achievement

Remember that IELTS essays are formal, so avoid using colloquial language and contractions. Maintain a formal and academic tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial freedom
Money management
Practicality
Irresponsible spending
Thoughtfulness
Creativity
Sentimental value
Tailored gifts
Interests
Hobbies
Balance
Personal circumstances
Memorable gifts

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Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballer. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?