Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion
These days, many people decide to encourage and make their teenagers delighted. So, the best way to do
this
is to give them gifts. However
, there are some arguments about what type of gift can be the most suitable one. Some people believe that money can be a suitable option, while
others think differently. In this
essay, both views will be discussed with examples.
Starting with the first point of view, giving cash as a present to them would make them astonished. This
is because they feel that these young individuals demand money more than anything else. For instance
, going to school by public transportation or purchasing necessary books cost them a lot. Another reason can ba
that most of the time, we are unaware of their favourite items. Correct your spelling
be
In other words
, the present we give them might not be useful for them. Take a person who is intrested
in sports as an example. If you give him a bottle of wine, he would not be that happy.
Correct your spelling
interested
On the other hand
, others think there are lots of things except cash, which can make them surprised. They hold the view that other things, like novel books or a ticket for a philharmonic concert, would be more valuable. The reason is that more often, these young humans are not able to buy, because of the extortionate prices.
In conclusion, some human feel that the most valuable present for teenagers can be money, although
other people do not think the same way. In my view, both options may be excellent, and this
really depends on the person who is going to be surprised.Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure you have a clear structure for your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain coherence by ensuring clear connections between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use linking words to help guide the reader through your argument and to show the relationships between points.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task equally. In this case, it seems you focused a little more on one view than the other. Try to give balanced treatment to both sides of the discussion before giving your opinion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples. The more specific you can be, the better you can illustrate your points, which supports task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on sentence structure and punctuation to ensure clarity. In some instances, your sentences are quite long and could be broken down for better readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion can be stronger. Restate the main points and your opinion more clearly to give the reader a sense of closure.
Task Achievement
Remember that IELTS essays are formal, so avoid using colloquial language and contractions. Maintain a formal and academic tone throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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