In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

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People in several cultures believe that working hard leads youngsters to attain whatever they want.

While

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I agree that trying hard is essential for everyone to achieve their goals, it cannot guarantee an inevitable positive result and

children

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should be aware of feasible failure. So, in my point of view, the disadvantages of

this

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belief outweigh its advantages. Believing in anything can be gained by trying hard has some positive impacts on

children

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. Perhaps the main influence is that

children

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can gain a strong desire and aspiration to pursue their aims.

As a result

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, they put their best foot forward to excel in everything. Another influence is that when

children

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are instilled to be able to achieve their passions, their confidence has increased and they trust in themselves and their abilities.

Thus

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, they need to know that every step

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apply

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taken in life to acquire their aspirations impacts their lives beneficially. In spite of all the benefits mentioned above, I believe that

this

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belief is wrong and affects youngsters negatively. It simply causes them to have a high expectation of themselves and consider big goals which cannot be achieved just by being hard-working as other factors are important to take into account

such

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as the atmosphere they live in and monetary conditions.

Moreover

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children

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should be aware of the chance of failure. It is because if they do not succeed, they will end up with depression and nervous breakdown.

For example

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, when I prepared for the university exam, I was assured that if I studied 12 hours each day

then

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, I could achieve admission to a top university. I Have never achieved that goal.

Consequently

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, I lost my confidence and I thought I was not intelligent enough. In conclusion, the drawbacks of thinking that everything can be achievable by

endeavor

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endeavour

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are more than its benefits as it causes youths to encounter unexpected failure which might make them give up

to keep

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on keeping

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their hope alive to continue their attempts.

Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on Thu Jan 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure you have a clear central topic in each paragraph and make use of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This includes transition words, synonyms, and pronoun referencing to maintain a strong connection between your arguments.

task achievement

Make sure you fully answer the question by addressing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. It is also essential to support your main points with specific examples to better illustrate your arguments and demonstrate a broader range of language ability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Encouragement
Motivation
Determination
Work Ethic
Persistence
Self-esteem
Confidence
Challenges
Unrealistic Expectations
Disappointment
Frustration
Limitations
External Factors
Pressure
Stress
Anxiety
Mental Health

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Fully explain your ideas

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replaced in the workplace. Why isnthis happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact in society?

Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments againts offenders To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples

Environmental pollution has become one of the most serious issues in today's world. What are the causes of environmental pollution? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?