IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #minerals #space
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The exploration of minerals in
space
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 is a topic of growing debate.
While
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 proponents argue that the potential benefits justify the investment, opponents believe the challenges outweigh the possible gains.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. On the one hand, advocates of
space
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-based mineral
research
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 contend that it could yield significant scientific and economic rewards.
First,
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studying the composition and distribution of extraterrestrial minerals could provide valuable insights into the formation and evolution of planets and the solar system.
As a result
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, technological advancements from
this
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research
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 could improve
space
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 travel and resource utilization capabilities.
Additionally
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, the possibility of extracting valuable
resources
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 like rare earth metals from asteroids or the Moon could create new industries and revenue streams.
Thus
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, the potential benefits of
space
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 mineral
research
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, including technological innovation and economic development, make it a worthwhile endeavour.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that the costs of
space
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-based mineral exploration outweigh the potential benefits.
To begin
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 with, operating the necessary spacecraft, equipment, and infrastructure for effective mineral prospecting and extraction would require immense financial
resources
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.
This
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 could be better allocated to more pressing earthly concerns
such
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 as healthcare, education, and environmental protection.
Furthermore
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, there are
also
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 significant technical hurdles,
such
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 as the difficulty of operating in the harsh environment of
space
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 and the logistical complexities of transporting extracted
resources
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 back to Earth.
Therefore
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, concerns associated with
space
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 mineral
research
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 suggest that it may not be the most prudent allocation of
resources
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 at present. In conclusion,
while
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research
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 in
this
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 field should continue at a measured pace, I believe that priority and
resources
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 should be directed toward addressing critical issues on Earth.
This
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 approach ensures that we do not neglect immediate needs
while
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 gradually developing the capabilities to explore
space
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 in the future.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion and presented your opinion clearly, which is crucial for a high task achievement score. However, adding specific examples or case studies would strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each supporting point is developed logically and thoroughly. While your essay is well-structured, some points could benefit from deeper exploration.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate the main ideas of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical progression of ideas, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic fully and your arguments are relevant and clear.
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