some people believe that, health care should recieve more money to the state. However, others feel that there are another more imprtant spheres which need more money from state budget. discuss both opinion and give your view.

Some groups of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
are of the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the budget should
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
show examples
to
health
care
services
although
others believe that there are more essential
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
than
health
care
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
they need more money.
This
essay will
be provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
both aspects from my own view. On the one hand, it can be certainly said that
health
care
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a crucial role in our lives. If we did not have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body, we would not meet our basic needs. It is plausible that many people guess,
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
large chunks of money should
devote
Wrong verb form
be devoted
show examples
to
health
care
. Some
equimpment
Correct your spelling
equipment
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be rebuilt.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, lack of
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
related to
health
services
is the main problem.
AS
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
a result,
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immidiate
Correct your spelling
immediate
action in order to have better
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
certers
Correct your spelling
centres
and
hospitasls
Correct your spelling
hospitals
.
On the other hand
, some people are against the above opinion. There are a few
reosons
Correct your spelling
reasons
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
why people think other issues
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
important
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
health
care
. they might have not faced some
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and they are not aware of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
health
services
how could be
prodoctive
Correct your spelling
productive
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
contribute to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
better life
withaout
Correct your spelling
without
any
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
. Another reason to consider is,
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
may feel scarcity of something
such
as primary
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
amines
and
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
Forexample
Correct your spelling
For example
, They may have to deal with some poor
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
, So they want to allocate money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
these
services
instead
of
health
care
. In conclusion, first and
for most
Correct your spelling
foremost
show examples
they have to
reagrd
Correct your spelling
regard
health
care
services
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is not only essential and
necussary
Correct your spelling
necessary
but
also
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. It will be prevented some various types of disease and some negative
precousions
Correct your spelling
precautions
in the long run.
Submitted by hastytajassosy on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clear and logical structure to your essay by organizing your ideas into well-defined paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of that paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and that they effectively introduce and summarize the main points of your essay, respectively. Your conclusion should reflect upon the arguments made and succinctly state your final position.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Doing so makes your argument stronger and more convincing. You can draw on real-life situations, hypothetical examples, facts, or studies related to the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the task. Address both views mentioned in the prompt as well as give your own opinion in a clear manner.
task achievement
Work to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your arguments are articulated well and easy to follow.
task achievement
Avoid typing errors and mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Careful proofreading can help you identify and correct these issues before submitting your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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