IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Environmental
problems
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such
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 as climate change and rising carbon emissions have infiltrated almost every aspect of our lives. The question of whether the rise of gasoline
prices
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 is the best way to tackle growing concerns over the environment has sparked a heated argument among environmentalists. It is my own contention that there are dozens of more pragmatic solutions that can generate payback that can overshadow the benefits of the solution that soars fuel
prices
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. First and foremost, global warming, pollution, deforestation and overpopulation are the most concerning existing
problems
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 that are fueled by distinctive reasons. I think, that by raising the fuel
prices
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, a majority of economically disadvantaged people will be pushed towards cheaper alternatives like diesel, which can even exacerbate exhaust emissions. To illustrate, increasing the price of fuel without decreasing the price of electricity vehicles and establishing a sustainable public transportation infrastructure is not a feasible measure to implement.
Additionally
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, even if it does have supplementary measures as well,
this
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 can solely account for about a 3% reduction in the total amount of emissions.
Moreover
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, having multiple factors affecting the environment today, I believe that overpopulation is the worst out of all culprits available. Owing to overpopulation, the dynamics of the world have worsened over the years, resulting in higher carbon recordings, plastic waste pollution, deforestation, loss of biodiversity, depletion of natural resources and melting ice caps.
Therefore
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, it is utterly important to regulate the uncontrolled birth rates in countries with high fertility recordings.
For example
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, almost all of the above-mentioned
problems
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 are caused by humans,
therefore
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, the number of people should remain unchanged in order to ensure the survival of our species throughout the difficult times that are awaiting us in the future. In conclusion, it is worth emphasizing that by increasing the value of gas
prices
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 to a certain degree there will be a negligible impact on the present global
problems
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, frustrating its proponents.
Nevertheless
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, in my idea, we should gravitate towards other alternatives
such
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 as controlling the human population so that our finite resources can wisely be incurred on the best solution.

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Task Achievement
Intensify the focus on directly responding to the question prompt throughout the essay, ensuring that each paragraph contributes something significant to your key argument that increasing fuel prices is not the best solution.
Task Achievement
Enhance the degree of specificity in your arguments with concrete examples and data where possible, to more effectively support your claims and demonstrate real-world implications.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay using a clear, logical progression of ideas, ensuring that each point builds upon the last and contributes to a cohesive overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Connect your paragraphs and sentences more explicitly, using a range of cohesive devices to signal the relationships between your ideas and reinforce the strength of your argument.
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