The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Some individuals are of the opinion that the
internet
supports people
in bridging the gap between people
, regardless of the place we are living in, while
some people
believe it prevents people
from having social communication
. From my standpoint, I wholly believe that the internet
is beneficial since it helps users
broaden their horizons . This
essay will expound upon this
by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
Firstly
, most benefits are gained from widening one's horizon. Specifically, over the past few years, the development of technology has grown unstoppably, so the internet
helps users
meet various friends as well as
learn how to excel in communication
and negotiation. As a result
, they could forge valuable relationships, along with
equipping essential skills to access lucrative career opportunities. For instance
, English is the most significant language in recent years, so meeting friends from many different countries through online games or social media could support users
to learn the language more easily than previous
times, meaning that they could comfortably look for a job.
Change preposition
in previous
On the other hand
, this
issue still has some reservations that it is indeed detrimental. One of the reasons why people
think that way is using the internet
will make people
socialise with others, and this
can lead to less durable rapport with their acquaintances. However
, for people
who are not outgoing and talkative, the internet
is one of the best solutions to deal with this
problem, as the more conversations they have, the more their confidence. Thus
, it helps people
to bridge the gap between them and their relatives through communication
skills they have learned and are never afraid of having too few friends. in the case of autistic people
who are anti-social, they may improve their talking ability through communication
apps such
as Omegles.
In conclusion, i
totally agree that Change the capitalization
I
people
should build connections through Internet
since Add an article
the Internet
users
can access lucrative career opportunities; furthermore
, it is beneficial to users
to be more confident and bridge the gap between people
, regardless of some reservations due to
many methods that could solve that mentioned problem.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument. However, a more balanced discussion with equal weight to both perspectives would make it more compelling. Additionally, a few more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and ideas are connected logically. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
language
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors, such as capitalization in 'i' and ensure to use consistent punctuation. Additionally, vary sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing multiple perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, providing a strong foundation and closure to the essay.
language
Your vocabulary is broad, and your use of language is appropriate for the task, demonstrating a good command of English.