The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

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The given bar chart illustrates data about how family members in one nation spent their weekly revenue in 1968 and 2018 and

this

Linking Words

comparison includes eight categories. As can seen in the chart, all kinds of family usage were changed except household

goods

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, food , fuel and power, clothing and footwear and personal

goods

Use synonyms

experienced a downward trend between the given period and decreased from 35% to 17%, 8% to 4%, 10% to 5% and 9% to 4% respectively.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, People spent more weekly in some categories in 2017 in comparison with 1968. They allocated 18% of their budget into housing in 2017 which is 8% more than the beginning of the period.

Also

Linking Words

spending weekly income on leisure grew significantly from 9% to approximately 23%. In conclusion, the given graph demonstrates that people's consumption trend has changed over 50 years incredibly. Households spent more budget on housing, transport and leisure.

Conversely

Linking Words

, they allocate less money to food,clothing

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

footwear and personal

goods

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the consumption of household

goods

Use synonyms

didn't change at all.

Submitted by zahrahosseini1992 on Fri Jan 26 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words goods with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Weekly income
Expenditure
Consumption patterns
Cost of living
Discretionary spending
Inflation
Economic indicators
Demographics
Socio-economic factors
Technology advancements
Government policies
Consumerism
Lifestyle changes
Fiscal habits
Budget allocation
Financial priorities
Societal trends
Purchasing power
Income distribution

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The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

Online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. However some buyers are sceptical of this practice. Discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping.