IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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A home is a place where our heart lies. In the majority of nations, owning a property is considered more beneficial to individuals than renting.
This
 essay will expatiate why it is more preferred and
also
 state my reason why I think it advantageous. First and foremost, many people prefer freedom.
This
 is to say in a rental property there are rules and regulations which are compulsory to abide by.
In other words
, if broken the owner has a right to evict the tenant from his complex.
For example
, my neighbour has no right to organize a meeting or family gatherings, which includes birthdays as compared to my family house in which we do all of those without seeking permission from anyone as we are the sole owner of the mansion.
Therefore
, living in a rental property has its limitations which can deter one from enjoyment.
On the other hand
, owning a house is on a positive end as it provides one an everlasting place to call home,
as well as
 being paid rental fees when on retirement. To elucidate
further
, most citizens who are homeowners, tend to convert part of the living space for rentals to other families during their old age.
This
 is because they tend to live alone as their children may have relocated
elsewhere
 to start their own lives.
For instance
, in East Africa Nigeria, it is more common for the elderly who are on retirement to relocate back to their hometown
due to
 financial constraints of renting a home in the city where they are based.
As a result
, owning your territory can help prevent all these from happening. In conclusion, having a self-own building has provided one with the freedom to do whatever they please,
as well as
 enabled the elderly to reside in their comfort zone in town rather than migrating to uncomfortable places.
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Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with clear paragraphs and transitions. However, to further improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that your main points are linked more explicitly to the essay question throughout the essay. This will enhance the overall flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
Regarding task response, you have provided a complete response to the prompt with clear ideas. To enhance your essay, strive for deeper exploration of the reasons and implications associated with home ownership, possibly including comparisons to renting, and ensure that each point directly addresses the question. Additionally, aim to include more specific examples and details to illustrate your points more vividly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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