Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
At
Change preposition
In
this
day and age, the amount of people
occupying cities has led to multiple problems. I believe that by developing rural areas
and bringing them to higher living conditions, people
will begin to immigrate from the urban areas
.
One main issue in the organization of most countries is centralization. This
means emphasizing on
one or more regions of the state and developing them to their maximum potentialChange preposition
apply
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
leaving the others behind. Moreover
, it is in human nature to always obtain the most favorable
places to live and survive, even if it means Change the spelling
favourable
to
sometimes Change preposition
apply
relocate
. Wrong verb form
relocating
For example
, a friend of mine from Germany immigrated from the countryside to Frankfurt for better educational opportunities and is planning to never move back permanently to where she grew up. This
automatically means assuring better-paying jobs and higher salaries. However
, city life is usually more expensive. So, it would be fair to admit that by moving, immigrants are looking forward to a better life.
A solution in this
case would be for the government to invest in other areas
of a country as well. Whilst it is self-explanatory that more money will be needed in order to make this
idea happen, more money will be entering the state budget afterwards. Not only that, but this
represents an efficient way to stop people
from choosing bigger cities in favor
of smaller regions. Change the spelling
favour
Furthermore
, by exploiting every part of a certain country, we make sure to raise it to its highest potential and the living standards would grow significantly. A good example would be the country I live in - the Republic of Moldova. There are lots
of agricultural potential which is not exploited or even seen. Correct quantifier usage
lot
Additionally
, people
are not able to find workplaces, so they relocate in
the capital city to work menial jobs. Change preposition
to
However
, if the head of state would pay more attention in that direction, the Republic of Moldova would export many useful food products worldwide, such
as wine.
In conclusion, overpopulation of urban areas
is a serious problem nowadays and it is important to begin
fixing it as soon as possible to prevent bigger problems from happening in the Correct your spelling
future
futur
Correct your spelling
future
Submitted by acaitaz on
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task response
The essay identifies and discusses the issue of centralization as a cause of urban overpopulation effectively. However, you could further elaborate on a second serious problem or delve deeper into the consequences of overpopulation in urban areas.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured overall, the conclusion could be more robust. Ensure that your conclusion summarises the key points discussed in the essay more effectively.
task response
Adding a second viewpoint or problem would enhance the task achievement score by providing a more comprehensive discussion of the issue at hand.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in conveying your ideas effectively.
task response
You provided a real-life example with your friend from Germany, which adds credibility to your argument and makes it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your writing has good coherence, with ideas flowing logically from one to the next, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...