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Band 6.5

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
#information #cinema #attendance #australia #projections
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The line graph depicts
cinema
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 in Australia from 14
years
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 old until 50+
years
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 old over 20
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cinema
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 attendance was dominated by
people
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 aged around 14 - 24
years
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 old and the lowest of the amount of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 was aged more than 50
years
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 old. Looking in more detail, in 1990, movie
theater
Fix the agreement mistake
theaters
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 extremely popular
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 young
people
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, around 90%
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people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged 14
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 24
years
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 old visited the
cinema
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 for their entertainment. It went up,
down
Correct word choice
and down
show examples
 and remained unchanged at 90% until 2008. It ended up nearly 100%
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people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who
attending
Wrong verb form
attended
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 the
cinema
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.
Next,
Linking Words
there were 61%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 25-34
years
Use synonyms
 old in 1990
visiting
Wrong verb form
visited
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 the movie theater and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 increased significantly to a level of 80% in 2006. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it decreased slightly by 9% in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the age around 35-49
years
Use synonyms
 old started at 60% in the beginning.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose gradually to 85% in 2010 surpassing the mature
people
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.
Cinema
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 is really unpopular
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 old
people
Use synonyms
 who
aged
Verb problem
are
show examples
 more than fifty.
However
Linking Words
, the chart indicated a
substansial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 growth
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 20%. Started at 40% and ended up at 60% in 2010 who attended the movie theater.
Submitted by Dedeways244 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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