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Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #future #resources #people
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Young
people
 are invaluable assets for the future of a
country
. Their abilities and knowledge have the potential to instigate positive changes and advancements across various sectors, yielding numerous benefits for the nation. In
this
 essay, I will express my opinion regarding the impact of young
people
 on a
country
.
Firstly
, providing higher education to young
people
 should be a primary concern for the government. Authorities ought to establish more scholarship programs, enabling a greater number of young individuals to access higher education.
Consequently
, these educated youth can contribute to society by sharing and implementing the knowledge acquired through their studies.
Furthermore
, enhancing school facilities can positively influence their learning experience, fostering happiness and ease during their academic journey. A
country
 with a well-educated and skilled young population is more likely to be competitive in the global market.
Secondly
, the impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young
people
 extends beyond education into the realm of health.
For instance
, when young
people
 maintain good health, it can significantly enhance productivity in the workplace,
subsequently
 reducing absenteeism.
Additionally
, a healthy youth population can contribute to the prevention of illnesses.
Consequently
, it is imperative for the government to prioritize improving health facilities to ensure the well-being of young individuals. In conclusion,
while
 investing in young
people
 is widely recognized as crucial for a
country
's future, a balanced approach is necessary. Addressing the needs of all age groups and considering current challenges is essential for sustainable and resilient societal development. Achieving a harmonious allocation of resources across various sectors will undoubtedly contribute to a prosperous and thriving nation.
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Response, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. While you have presented a clear opinion, be sure to discuss both sides of the argument if the question requires, and enhance your response with more specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Your essay should have clear and logical progression. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more effectively. Also, make sure paragraphs are well-developed and each contain a central idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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