IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Young
people
Use synonyms
 are invaluable assets for the future of a
country
Use synonyms
. Their abilities and knowledge have the potential to instigate positive changes and advancements across various sectors, yielding numerous benefits for the nation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will express my opinion regarding the impact of young
people
Use synonyms
 on a
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, providing higher education to young
people
Use synonyms
 should be a primary concern for the government. Authorities ought to establish more scholarship programs, enabling a greater number of young individuals to access higher education.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these educated youth can contribute to society by sharing and implementing the knowledge acquired through their studies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, enhancing school facilities can positively influence their learning experience, fostering happiness and ease during their academic journey. A
country
Use synonyms
 with a well-educated and skilled young population is more likely to be competitive in the global market.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 extends beyond education into the realm of health.
For instance
Linking Words
, when young
people
Use synonyms
 maintain good health, it can significantly enhance productivity in the workplace,
subsequently
Linking Words
 reducing absenteeism.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a healthy youth population can contribute to the prevention of illnesses.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is imperative for the government to prioritize improving health facilities to ensure the well-being of young individuals. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 investing in young
people
Use synonyms
 is widely recognized as crucial for a
country
Use synonyms
's future, a balanced approach is necessary. Addressing the needs of all age groups and considering current challenges is essential for sustainable and resilient societal development. Achieving a harmonious allocation of resources across various sectors will undoubtedly contribute to a prosperous and thriving nation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Response, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. While you have presented a clear opinion, be sure to discuss both sides of the argument if the question requires, and enhance your response with more specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Your essay should have clear and logical progression. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more effectively. Also, make sure paragraphs are well-developed and each contain a central idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: