The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
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The line graph illustrates the consumption rate of three different
type
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types
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of fast food:
pizza
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,
fish
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and
chips
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, and
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hambergers
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hamburgers
hamburger
, eaten by Australian youths between 1975 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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number of consuming times in
fish
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and
chips
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encountered a downward trend, those of
pizza
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and
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hambergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
faced an upward trend. At the beginning of the graph, in 1975, it can be obviously observed that
fish
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and
chips
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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the most popular
amongs
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among
amongst
Australian
adolesences
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adolescences
adolescence
adolescents
because they had
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
100 times per year,
whereas
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
hambergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
were consumed approximately 5 and 10, respectively. In the following years, the trend had been changing.
While
Linking Words
the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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rates of both
pizza
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and
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hambergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
was
Change the verb form
were
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continuingly rising and reach
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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peak in 1995 at approximately 85 and 100, respectively, and the numbers still remain afterwards, those of
fish
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and
chips
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was fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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from 1975 to 1985 and significantly declined to 40
at the end
Linking Words
of
given
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a given
the given
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period.
Submitted by giftsuvichaya1702 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, fish, chips, hambergers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Dip
  • Steady growth
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Consumption patterns
  • Fast food
  • Processed snacks
  • Health consciousness
  • Marketing influence
  • Demographic factors
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Epidemiological impact
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