A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The society has the standard to determine the value of a person based on their wealth. An individual is considered successful if they earn a lot of money.
Due to
a money-oriented society, that kind of mindset has emerged and I have to disagree with Linking Words
this
statement.
Linking Words
First,
there is no actual parameter for people to be classified as successful. People have different targets in their lives, Linking Words
for example
, able to travel to foreign countries, a huge house, become a president, and many more. It is impossible, in my opinion, to measure a person's value only based on currency, as it might not be what they are looking for. In my case, a paycheck has never been my ultimate goal from the start, I focused more on learning new skills and gaining interesting experiences as my objective. Linking Words
However
, having a huge balance in the bank surely helps in one way or another.
Linking Words
Second,
having a huge number of cash does not necessarily bring happiness. It has been quite trending recently where individuals are looking for happiness rather than just some currency. Happiness comes in plenty of forms, it includes games, cars, make-up, etc. These small exciting things are what folks nowadays looking for. Linking Words
In addition
to that, there are some examples where the executives are not happy with their high-paying jobs. Linking Words
Thus
, they leave the enterprise and pursue their dream, something they are fond of.
In summary, I disagree that cash is something that would make someone qualified as wealthy because wealth could differ from one human being to another. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is important for us to change Linking Words
this
way of thinking and start a mindset Linking Words
that is
more focused the deep-lying desire.Linking Words
Submitted by mikeasad on
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task achievement
Develop the main points more fully with relevant examples. While you have presented your disagreement well, citing specific instances or studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more logical connectors and transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Consider restating the topic and your position in the conclusion to reinforce the message of your essay. It's good practice to summarize your key points briefly in the conclusion and ensure it mirrors your introduction.