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Band 6.5

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #libraries #functions
hroughout
Correct your spelling
Throughout
 there is a debate that do we actually need
libraries
 or not. Some of them think that it is not useful to keep
libraries
 ,
whereas
 others, including me, believe that they still have the potential to help humankind. On the one hand, today's modern world
technologies
 and the
internet
 take over any part of the education system including services that give information. As new
technologies
 and
internet
 services are integrated into our world, Our way of consuming data
also
 changed dramatically. Using modern
technologies
 gives us greater advantages than traditional
libraries
 do. In fact, every person who wants to get information about everything can reach it with one click of a button.People now do not need to wait in lines for the books necessary in
libraries
, they can simply download them from the
Internet
.
On the other hand
, a library can be important as it always has a good atmosphere for learning and reading.
Libraries
 most suitable places for learning as it has a hushed environment and people who enjoy reading. Everyone who enjoys reading deep inside always senses that by the end of the day, all we need is a comfortable place and a chance to touch the books.
Furthermore
, most of the
libraries
 modified and they have computers and access to fast
internet
, nowadays individuals who use
libraries
 can receive advantages from both modern
technologies
 and traditional reading circumstances.
To conclude
, it is understandable that
libraries
 might lose their potential
due to
 advances in technology, but it is important to consider their valuable benefits
such
 as a cosy environment and peace.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next one, and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the issue, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and succinct. They frame the discussion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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