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Writing Samples
Band 7

School children and students of all ages now use technology a great deal in their studies. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#school #children #students #ages #technology #studies #development
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In light of technological development, all pupils and university
students
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 have been exposed to various digital mediums for their studies.
Although
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 it has some drawbacks, I strongly believe that it is considered a positive phenomenon. On the one hand, some people claim that being too dependent on
technology
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 may reduce
students
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’ creativity and innovation which might arise if they pursue the conventional process of education.
In other words
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,
students
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 have easy access to different educational websites and apps, they are less likely to try hard in order to accomplish their school’s assignments, as they can easily do their tasks by surfing the web with a push of a button. Research findings confirm that the number of pupils who use the nerve cells of their brain to solve challenging math problems has dramatically dropped,
due to
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 the excessive use of
technology
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. Another negative aspect is that by using the Internet, children may learn their lessons superficially,
therefore
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, they do not learn their core lessons comprehensively.
As a result
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, they fail to convert their knowledge into practical experience which is essential for their success in their profession in the long run.
On the other hand
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, others justifiably argue that regarding technological advancement,
students
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 of all ages have unlimited access to different types of scientific resources, which provide them with state-of-the-art educational software.
Therefore
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, they are able to get familiar with up-to-date
technology
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 and improve their knowledge in every field of science.
Consequently
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, not only would they be qualified graduates, but
also
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 acquire an edge over other job seekers which would help them to become successful in
this
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 competitive era.
In addition
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, globalization has been taking place so fast that cross-border communication is not only a demand
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 a determining factor in strengthening bonds among countries and people.
Subsequently
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, utilizing technological gadgets and software assists
students
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 to be in harmony with their peers who live overseas.
For instance
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, thanks to
technology
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, a pupil in a developing country can access the same pedagogical resources as their peers do in developed countries.
Thus
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, geographical boundaries have not been a barrier anymore.
To conclude
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,
although
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 using
technology
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 in an instructive process has some disadvantages, I deeply believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on

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Task Achievement
To improve the score in Task Achievement, ensure complete response to the question by giving equal weight to both sides of the argument and maintaining a balanced view throughout the essay. Additionally, try to provide clear examples that directly support your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the Coherence and Cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring paragraphs flow logically into one another. Check that topic sentences clearly signpost the content of paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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