Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In our developing society, more and more teenagers tend to have a break after leaving school in order to enhance their outlook and challenge themselves in working experiences.
Although
there could be a few drawbacks to
this
trend, I strongly believe that the benefits can outweigh them.
To begin
with, getting ample social and working skills plays a pivotal role in studying at university in the later part of teens' lives. To take an example from my point, there is a system in the USA which enables young people to explore the world and improve the above-mentioned skills before choosing their ways of life and professions. With the help of
this
chance, school-leavers are learning other countries' traditions, history, and lifestyles
as well as
enlarging their social circles by interacting with natives, making friends and practising as a labour force. Another benefit is that they can unwind sightseeing, historical places and monuments
as well as
discover new goals. When it comes to its disadvantages, during
this
period, students might come across some difficulties
such
as socialising with their peers, adopting other zones and feeling isolated and homesick living far from their families.
Moreover
, most of them may lose their interest in studying
due to
an academic gap. Namely, they can be addicted to earning money
instead
of carrying on their higher education.
As a result
of
this
, they can remain wherever they are working more than the appointed time and contribute to the development of the country by acquiring citizenship. In conclusion, in spite of its demerits, from my perspective, it is vitally important for younger generations to take a year off after graduating from school.
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure you address all aspects of the prompt. Expand on the disadvantages you've presented with more depth and specificity to balance the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score in Coherence and Cohesion, create clearer links between your ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to bring more clarity to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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