Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
The organization of international sports events is good for the country,
while
it is a common belief that it is bad. On the one hand, support for the county will promote public good and generate more income. However
, others can increase the crime rate and cause traffic congestion when concentrated in the overcrowded. This
essay will explain why and give my opinion.
Firstly
, look on the bright side about the advantages when organized in our countries. Having a competition will create an opportunity for the players' heavy competition with other countries and make a beautiful scenery with the stressed score in each sport such
as football, basketball, badminton, and others. Secondly
, can create the total revenue for the entrepreneur when selling the tickets, watching the sports competition motivating the economy with cutting-edge technology making an ear of prosperity, and advancing the living standards for the citizens.
Nevertheless
when we have the advantage we have to recommend the disadvantages of this
. The main issue is that it increases the crime rate for the residents. Due to
this
, the crime can hide away in places, which are crowded and seize the chance to rob jewelry
and all things that cost a fortune. Ultimately, designing the municipality to emit a lot of emissions by using the owner’s car, not using public transportation, and concentrating on the only place that makes the traffic congestion difficult to curb the heavy traffic or even skirt laws, and making a human live in that place annoyed lead to headaches.
When it comes down to that cannot undeniably bring the unbenfít but it is attractive to the tourists who come to our country is an important useful element for the future better than giving it up. In my view on Change the spelling
jewellery
this
issue, the continued establishment continues to make more advantages for the citizens.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt to address the topic, and you have presented both sides of the argument. However, there are areas where further development is needed. Providing more specific examples to support your points would strengthen your essay and make it more convincing. For example, you could mention specific events or instances where hosting international sports events led to increased revenue or crime rates.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant, but they could be more compelling. Refining the introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement and ensuring the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion will enhance coherence. Consider linking your main points more clearly to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some ideas could be better organized. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Transition words and phrases can also be used more effectively to improve the flow of your writing. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
language
There are occasional grammatical and vocabulary issues in your essay. Practicing complex sentence structures and varying your vocabulary can help to avoid repetition and enhance readability. Consider revising phrases like "look on the bright side about the advantages" to "consider the benefits" for clarity.
task achievement
You have done well by presenting both views on the topic and providing a balanced discussion. It’s clear that you understand the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives your writing an organized appearance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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