Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphone #case #development

The advancement of technology has contributed greatly to our daily lives,

thus

, smartphones can not be detached from people.

Therefore

, the phenomenon of youngsters who spend their time using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

every day has been a common occurrence nowadays. From my standpoint,

this

is a negative development

due to

a surge in allowance, the rise of antisocial behaviour, and an increased case of online crimes. One prominent problem is an increase in allowance given to children by parents.

For instance

, children who use mobile phones frequently will need additional spending on quota, wifi, and maintenance.

This

is common knowledge that

this

extra spending will cost a lot, especially if they are addicted to games. Games most of the time are pressuring them to buy certain things to accommodate the playing experience. In the end, parents are burdened to provide extra when it comes to money.

Secondly

, another issue is youngsters will become isolated from the real world.

In other words

, they will become addicted to smartphones and will always try to be up-to-date with the digital world.

Thus

, they will not meet their friends face-to-face and play with them directly. They opt for a more convenient activity through social media.

Therefore

this

will increase antisocial behaviour.

Finally

, the most fatal downside is an increasing case of digital crimes,

such

as online sexual harassment, grooming, and cyberbullying. The digital sphere is huge and individuals are able to use fake identities to operate there.

Moreover

this

occurrence is massive and foreseeable.

For instance

, a minor who does not know the term "consent" will likely see the act of vulgar words made by an adult through chat as an endearing act.

Thus

, they become the victims of paedophiles without knowing they are victims. In conclusion, the activity of using smartphones by children creates a disturbance in society with various drawbacks.

Hence

, I believe that

this

is not a positive development.

Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Engrossed
Distracted
Addictive
Digital natives
Virtual reality
Interactive
Online gaming
Social media platforms
Connectivity
Social engagement
Information access
Learning tools
Peer influence
Societal pressure
Alternative activities
Recreational facilities

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Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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