Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphone #case #development

The advancement of technology has contributed greatly to our daily lives,

thus

, smartphones can not be detached from people.

Therefore

, the phenomenon of youngsters who spend their time using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

every day has been a common occurrence nowadays. From my standpoint,

this

is a negative development

due to

a surge in allowance, the rise of antisocial behaviour, and an increased case of online crimes. One prominent problem is an increase in allowance given to children by parents.

For instance

, children who use mobile phones frequently will need additional spending on quota, wifi, and maintenance.

This

is common knowledge that

this

extra spending will cost a lot, especially if they are addicted to games. Games most of the time are pressuring them to buy certain things to accommodate the playing experience. In the end, parents are burdened to provide extra when it comes to money.

Secondly

, another issue is youngsters will become isolated from the real world.

In other words

, they will become addicted to smartphones and will always try to be up-to-date with the digital world.

Thus

, they will not meet their friends face-to-face and play with them directly. They opt for a more convenient activity through social media.

Therefore

this

will increase antisocial behaviour.

Finally

, the most fatal downside is an increasing case of digital crimes,

such

as online sexual harassment, grooming, and cyberbullying. The digital sphere is huge and individuals are able to use fake identities to operate there.

Moreover

this

occurrence is massive and foreseeable.

For instance

, a minor who does not know the term "consent" will likely see the act of vulgar words made by an adult through chat as an endearing act.

Thus

, they become the victims of paedophiles without knowing they are victims. In conclusion, the activity of using smartphones by children creates a disturbance in society with various drawbacks.

Hence

, I believe that

this

is not a positive development.

Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on Fri Feb 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To improve your task achievement score, ensure that you provide more specific examples to support your main points. While the overall response to the question is complete, incorporating detailed and relevant illustrations can enhance the effectiveness of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, but to elevate your score further, consider creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Employ a variety of transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument in a more seamless fashion.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Engrossed
Distracted
Addictive
Digital natives
Virtual reality
Interactive
Online gaming
Social media platforms
Connectivity
Social engagement
Information access
Learning tools
Peer influence
Societal pressure
Alternative activities
Recreational facilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
nowadays global warming change alot so what cause this problem and give effective solution
Global warming has been a threat to the enivronment for quite some time, and we have taken steps to control it but they are not as effective in real world as they were in papers. Global warming is known as raise in the global temprature due to greenhouse gases and pollution.
4
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many university students desire to learn different skills to put into their main subjects. However, others claimed that spending all their time and attention is vital when they only focus on their qualification. I totally agree that students need to put their efforts to only their occasions to not get distracted from something else as well as developing themselves for their future careers.
8
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken to solve them
5
band
Writing task 1: Write atleast 150 words and spend no more than 20 minutes on this task. You are new to the city and you would like to take your family out for a meal. Write a letter to your friend who is familiar with the city. In your letter: • Tell him or her about the occasion • Tell him or her about what kind of a restaurant you prefer • Ask him suitable recommendations Start with Dear..............,
I hope you are well.
4.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are two opposite opinions about methods that may help to make people’s health better. The first one is including as more physical activities as it possible and the second is apply other techniques, because sport has minimum effect on health.

Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

nowadays global warming change alot so what cause this problem and give effective solution

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.