IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to help developing countries is to give them financial aid. DO you agree or disagree with this statement. Suggest alternative to this policy.

In today’s world, developing
countries
Use synonyms
 require a significant amount of financial
support
Use synonyms
 to improve key
sectors
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as education, health care, and infrastructure.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that direct financial
aid
Use synonyms
 is the best way to
support
Use synonyms
 these nations, others argue that investing in businesses can better boost their economies. I personally believe that providing financial
aid
Use synonyms
 is a more effective and flexible solution for developing
countries
Use synonyms
 to achieve long-term growth.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, financial
aid
Use synonyms
 allows developing
countries
Use synonyms
 to allocate funds based on their specific needs and priorities. Every
country
Use synonyms
 has
sectors
Use synonyms
 that are well-developed and others that are struggling.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a
country
Use synonyms
 like India, the agriculture sector performs well
due to
Linking Words
 fertile land, but the
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 system still lacks the necessary resources to meet growing demands.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by receiving financial
aid
Use synonyms
, governments can direct funds to underperforming
sectors
Use synonyms
 and work towards improving them in a targeted way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should invest in businesses or start new ventures in developing nations.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
support
Use synonyms
 can create jobs, improve infrastructure, and promote long-term economic growth. A good example is Japan’s partnership with India to introduce the Bullet Train, which aims to improve the
country
Use synonyms
's railway system.
Although
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 projects help in specific
sectors
Use synonyms
 and create employment opportunities, they may not always address the areas that need immediate attention,
such
Linking Words
 as health or education. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 business investments can lead to growth in selected
sectors
Use synonyms
, they do not always meet the urgent needs of a developing
country
Use synonyms
. Financial
aid
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, gives governments the freedom to
support
Use synonyms
 struggling areas and build a stronger foundation for
overall
Linking Words
 progress.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that providing financial
aid
Use synonyms
 is a more beneficial and reliable approach to helping developing nations grow.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on the counterargument to strengthen your essay. Consider discussing potential downsides or limitations of financial aid.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Use phrases that indicate a contrast or comparison more effectively.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your stance and outlines the main points of your argument.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your argument, such as the situation in India and Japan's partnership with India.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • developing countries
  • essential services
  • infrastructure
  • fund mismanagement
  • corruption
  • vocational training
  • empower individuals
  • economic growth
  • fair trade practices
  • sustainable economies
  • fair compensation
  • technological assistance
  • infrastructure development
  • leapfrog development stages
  • foster innovation
  • good governance
  • anti-corruption measures
  • stable political environment
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: