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Band 7.5

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point of view?

#humans #technology #point
Over the
last
 few years, the question of whether advances in technology have made humans more bright or not is
such
 an important one people should focus on.
While
 there are those who think technological developments may erode traditional skills, personally, I believe that some problems related to innovation and problem-solving could be tackled by
this
. From one perspective, there are some concerns about enhancing technology. The main one of these is that some individuals believe that these kinds of developments may eliminate people's local skills.
That is
, these innovations may manufacture much more products made by hand
such
 as crafts, carvings and sewing traditional clothes.
As a result
, the local population may be unemployed and could not make enough earnings for their daily life.
Also
, they would be stressed if they could not make a living.
This
 can affect negatively to mental resources of the country.
For example
, in China, all the goods could almost be produced by new technologies.
Moreover
, the rate of unemployment is gradually increasing. From another angle, putting new technologies into real life could bring merits to resolve some issues that depend on innovation and problem-solving skills. To explain, artificial intelligence is nowadays settling crucial tasks which involve many attempts from people
such
 as doing documents, calculations, and planning schedules.
As a consequence
, users who use
this
 technology can finish their work on time and they may separate time from their family because the workload of those who utilise
this
 could be reduced significantly. In conclusion,
although
 there are many who prefer to reduce the use of new technologies, I would argue that the advantages of
this
 are a lot more significant to the world.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
In terms of task response, ensure you address all parts of the prompt by discussing both views in a balanced manner and providing a clear opinion. To improve, you may want to dedicate equal discussion to both sides of the argument and enhance your explanation of how technology influences employment and mental resources.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure your essay is well-organized with logical sequencing of ideas. To strengthen this, use a range of cohesive devices and check for paragraphing. Each paragraph should be clear and focus on one central idea. Moreover, your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and a more pronounced conclusion that reiterates your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Complement
  • Enablement
  • Dependency
  • Erosion
  • Amplification
  • Over-reliance
  • Adaptive technology
  • Inclusive design
  • Digital divide
  • Intellectual development
  • Personalized learning
  • Distraction
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Human adaptability
  • Plasticity
  • Creative thinking
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovation
  • Problem-solving
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