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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public
services
such
 as roads and schools.
Others
 feel that high
taxes
 are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. The experience of losing high percentages of their salary on
taxes
 has divided people’s opinions regarding the topic.
While
 some are all for providing money for public
services
,
others
 have a different feeling about it. In my opinion,
taxes
 are essential for a country’s development. On the one hand, paying large amounts of everyone’s income towards
services
 like health care and schools allows them to develop more easily, but more
importantly
Add a comma
importantly,
show examples
 it guarantees the ability to be accessible for the less
well off
Add a hyphen
well-off
show examples
. The fact that
taxes
 represent percentages and not set numbers causes them to increase once the income is bigger.
For example
, a public school would be well equipped and would be available for everyone, even if one family’s
taxes
 influenced and helped considerably more than another one.
However
, there are people who do not benefit from it as much as
others
. The reason for
this
 is that,
while
 some will require using public
services
 often and save money because of the fact that it is very affordable or even free thanks to the high
taxes
,
others
 will not have the necessity for them.
For instance
, a person with a low immune system, who will get sick more easily and more often, will theoretically spend more than the
taxes
 they paid,
whereas
 individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 go to the hospital once in a blue moon will experience the opposite. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that,
while
taxes
 are important, it is not necessary for them to be high, as different people have different needs, so charging and providing for them all the same is unjust.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words or phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You might want to provide more nuanced examples to illustrate both sides of the argument clearly and comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how high taxes can positively or negatively impact society in different scenarios to give a more balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinions on high taxes and public services.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively discuss both perspectives in the debate about taxation, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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