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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children under age 10 should be given their own interest subject, While others believe that should be given regular subjects. Discuss both of these views and Give your own opinion

#people #children #age #interest #subjects
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Nowadays, people hold different views about children's school
subjects
. Some of them believe that the main
subjects
 are more important
while
 others think that the lessons should be chosen based on the student's own interests. I firmly believe that minors ought to learn lessons which relate to their personal wishes. On the one hand, it is argued that regular
subjects
 are more valuable to teach students under 10 years. Proponents of
this
 claim believe that the traditional curriculum contributes to a variety of foundational skills and knowledge which are crucial for
further
 education and personal development.
For example
, if students study history from the early years they will be more likely to do research on the historical contexts.
Moreover
, some countries
such
 as Azerbaijan use
this
 type of study and it has led to knowledgeable individuals
such
 as Lutvizade who is one of the most qualified scientists in the world.
Furthermore
, children might not have the awareness to make choices about their interests at a young age. To illustrate, the research shows that some persons who are under 10 do not know what they want to do.
For
this
 reason, the
subjects
 should be chosen by the school.
On the other hand
, l agree with those who believe that during subject choices, students' abilities and their curiosity should be measured because special knowledge
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 necessary for making education more profound.
Above all
, it is irrefutable that specialized lessons can develop unique talents from a young age, potentially leading to greater achievements in those areas later in life.
For example
, Sehriyar Memmedyarov attended chess courses in his childhood and with his help , he developed and became a country legend in Susa competitions. In conclusion,
although
 it is thought by some that traditional classes are more efficient, l think that young adults' natural curiosity should be considered.
Submitted by nezerli.x12 on

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task achievement
While your essay comprehensively covers both viewpoints, it could benefit from further elaboration and examples in certain sections. For instance, expanding on how traditional subjects contribute to foundational skills would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
A more explicit thesis statement that briefly mentions both viewpoints would create a stronger introduction. This helps in establishing a clear direction for your essay right from the start.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the debate and states your own opinion, which provides a strong start.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Lutvizade and Sehriyar Memmedyarov, which help to illustrate the points being made.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main point of view without introducing new information, which is a strong way to end the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural curiosity
  • lifelong love of learning
  • specialized subjects
  • unique talents
  • independence
  • decision-making skills
  • traditional curriculum
  • well-rounded education
  • essential knowledge
  • foundational skills
  • personal development
  • informed choices
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