Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued by some
people
that
music
is a good way of bringing
people
of different cultures and ages together.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some
people
might disagree with
this
statement, I completely agree with
this
notion, not only because it brings the public together and shows expression but
also
because of its health benefits.
This
essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
,the predominant reason that compelled me to agree with
this
statement is that
music
plays a crucial role in our lives.
For example
, there are a lot of
music
artists. Those play different kinds of
music
such
as hip hop,traditional etc. Sometimes young and old ages have different tastes in
music
.
While
sometimes it may be the same it is a very critical condition. When they have the same feelings they attract each other in the sense of humankind.
Thus
,
this
factor can almost single-handedly express my opinion.
Secondly
, the additional compelling to support my opinion is that
music
contains a lot of health benefits.
For instance
,
last
year researchers researched two
people
. One who listens to
music
and the other one who
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
listen.
According to
that research, the man who listens to
music
is more relaxed than the other ones.
According to
Dawn News
music
helps a lot to reduce public stress, and anxiety levels or cool down their brain.
Hence
,
this
factor can clearly justify my judgment.
Finally
, another considerable reason is through the
music
public
also
shares their feelings or expressions.
For example
, if someone wants to propose to anyone through
music
he shares their expression or if they want to show him that he is angry with him
then
he can
also
send
music
to him.
To conclude
,I believe that I completely agree with
this
statement not only because of public argument and show expression but
also
because of its benefits.
Submitted by shaheryarahmedat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For task achievement, it is essential that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task and presents ideas that are directly relevant to the question. Aim to develop your main points further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Make sure that the examples are directly tied to the topic and clearly support your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, you must ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Using appropriate linking phrases and cohesive devices can strengthen the connection between your ideas. Moreover, try to avoid overly broad statements and focus on providing a more in-depth analysis of each point you make to ensure a logical progression throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: