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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #schools #children #information #internet #study #home
It is no secret that education is an important part of life since it prepares children to be independent. There is a widely held view that children can learn through the
Internet
 and there is no need for
school
 anymore, a theory which I strongly disapprove of. The main justification why learning from the
Internet
 is not fruitful is the fact that in case of misunderstood, pupils are not able to ask questions. An illustration of
this
 fact is math which is a fundamental subject and needs special attention. There should be someone who explains the basic theories,
otherwise
, it will become a weakness which suffers that person in any part of life like finding a job. Another explanation is that it needs special equipment
such
 as the
Internet
 and a gadget which can be extravagant. Providing these would be not affordable for countless families and the ones who live in deprived areas where accessing the
Internet
 is not possible. There are
also
 a few facts regarding the necessity of going to
school
. First and foremost, in
school
, children can learn everything at
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 time.
For example
, they learn the integral when they are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
school
 and it’s not a suitable subject for a primary student to learn since it needs several prerequired topics which they learn over time.
Last
 but not least,
school
 can extend the circle of relationship.
In other words
,
school
 is the best place to find friends who are in same age. The majority of grown-ups found their best friend in the
school
 and they are still connected.
Therefore
, the
school
 has other benefits exclusive of education. what can be concluded from the above is that I find myself among the ones who believe that without
shadow
Add an article
a shadow
show examples
 of a doubt,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 cannot be replaced by the
Internet
.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the topic in your introduction and conclusion, indicating your position on the question asked.
task achievement
Link your main ideas clearly to support your argument and use relevant examples to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence, ensure that your essay has a logical flow and that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Include a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument if the question prompts you to do so, and ensure your examples are directly relevant to the point being discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational tool
  • structured curriculum
  • self-directed learning
  • socialization process
  • digital divide
  • trained educators
  • self-motivation
  • discipline
  • personalized learning
  • extracurricular activities
  • critical thinking
  • media literacy
  • all-round development
  • real-world preparation
  • online content
  • feasibility
  • tailored resources
  • information overload
  • learning styles
  • reliable sources
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