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Band 6

It is often said that governments spend too much mo ey on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems. That are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #mo #ey #projects #wildlife
In today’s climate, protecting
wildlife
 has become a controversial minefield. It is a widely held view that protecting
wildlife
 has an extravagant cost for governments which can be used for solving more important problems, a theory which I strongly disapprove of. The main justification why not spending money on
wildlife
 is a bad idea is in
this
 case they go extinct. There were several species of flora and fauna which are not available anymore. Humans have done several activities which led to putting animals in danger. An illustration of
this
 fact is global warming which had irreversible impacts on animals and
plant’s
Fix the agreement mistake
plants’
show examples
habitation
Replace the word
habitat
show examples
.
Therefore
, people are responsible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 protecting endangered
spicies
Correct your spelling
species
 in different ways
such
 as educating people and providing a conservation area where they breed safely. Another explanation is that protection’s expenses pales in comparison to rare species value. Authorities can export these rare creatures and earn money from the zoo tickets to provide the necessary budget.
On the other hand
, there are a few facts why protecting
wildlife
 is the right course of action. First and foremost, they are considered a national heritage and treasure. Every country has a unique symbol which is popular in the world.
For example
, Iran is famous for its panther which is said that there are less than five couples in the country.
Last
 but not least, every species of animal and plant play an important role in the ecosystem. A simple example that they do not pay attention to is garden worms, even though having several advantages. Not only are they the food of other animals but
also
 they have numerous benefits for the garden. What can be concluded from the above is that I find myself among the group who believe that protecting
wildlife
 is necessary at any cost.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clearer topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph follows a logical order. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, expand your ideas by further explaining how protecting wildlife contributes to the economy and society, and compare it directly with other important issues that governments face. Address the counterarguments more comprehensively to show a balanced discussion before concluding your view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • eco-tourism
  • interconnected issues
  • misallocation of resources
  • intrinsically valuable
  • sustainable development
  • biodiversity hotspot
  • environmental stewardship
  • habitat preservation
What to do next:
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