Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to ensure that it does not harm the social development of teenagers and young adults?
Several
people
have an opinion that the internet
is having a bad impact of
teenagers and young adults on their social skills. Change preposition
on
This
essay attempts to shed light the
merits and demerits of using the Change preposition
on the
internet
for youngsters before deciding how to use the internet
correctly.
Hence
the internet
have
many positives side to see the world from our hands, it is obvious that the Change the verb form
has
internet
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
people
from their real world. Firstly
, the convinience
of browsing information, news, and trends over the phone or computer will bring Correct your spelling
convenience
people
into an addiction. Not only people
will spend hours in front of their gadget
, but Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
also
will forget to connect in real
world. Add an article
the real
Moreover
, the easiness of sharing what you do and see
what others do will not only bring Wrong verb form
seeing
the
joy. Correct article usage
apply
Due to
too many
Correct quantifier usage
much
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
over
the Change preposition
on
internet
, Add an article
a juvenile
juvenile
might tend to Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
Add a missing verb
be overhelmed
overhelmed
and Correct your spelling
overwhelmed
overwhelm
started
to compare their life with others.
To overcome Wrong verb form
start
this
issues, there are several techniques to do. First and foremost, parents should bring special attention and directions Correct determiner usage
these
for
their kids. Change preposition
to
For example
, applying their kids to some extraculiculars
to make their sons or Correct your spelling
extracurriculars
extracurricular
daughthers
spend more time on social activities. Correct your spelling
daughters
Furthermore
, parents must teach their kids to be dicipline
. Correct your spelling
discipline
disciplined
For instance
, teach their teenagers to put a timer on a mobile phone or laptop to remind that
it's time to stop playing with social media.
All in all, even though the Correct pronoun usage
them that
internet
can bring a lot of benefits, it comes with the
drawbacks which distance Correct article usage
apply
people
with
their reality. To manage Change preposition
from
this problems
, parents have Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
significant
role Add an article
a significant
to distract
their children from getting attached to the Change preposition
in distracting
internet
by giving them the opportunity to experience other activities and teach
them the importance of Wrong verb form
teaching
the
time.Correct article usage
apply
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Task Achievement
To improve task response, make sure you fully develop your main ideas with more specific examples and explanations. Expand on the points you've made and present clear arguments that address both parts of the question: the perceived dangers of the Internet to social skills and the solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, organize your paragraphs effectively with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences to encapsulate the points made.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example