Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to ensure that it does not harm the social development of teenagers and young adults?

#people #internet #skills #teenagers #adults #harm #development

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Several

people

have an opinion that the

internet

is having a bad impact

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show examples

teenagers and young adults on their social skills.

This

essay attempts to shed light

the

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on the

show examples

merits and demerits of using the

internet

for youngsters before deciding how to use the

internet

correctly.

Hence

the

internet

have

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has

show examples

many positives side to see the world from our hands, it is obvious that the

internet

seperate

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separate

people

from their real world.

Firstly

, the

convinience

Correct your spelling

convenience

of browsing information, news, and trends over the phone or computer will bring

people

into an addiction. Not only

people

will spend hours in front of their

gadget

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gadgets

show examples

, but

also

will forget to connect in

real

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the real

show examples

world.

Moreover

, the easiness of sharing what you do and

see

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seeing

show examples

what others do will not only bring

the

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apply

show examples

joy.

Due to

too

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

over

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show examples

the

internet

Add an article

a juvenile

show examples

juvenile

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juveniles

show examples

might tend to

Add a missing verb

be overhelmed

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overhelmed

Correct your spelling

overwhelmed

overwhelm

and

started

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start

show examples

to compare their life with others. To overcome

this

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these

show examples

issues, there are several techniques to do. First and foremost, parents should bring special attention and directions

for

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show examples

their kids.

For example

, applying their kids to some

extraculiculars

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extracurriculars

extracurricular

to make their sons or

daughthers

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daughters

spend more time on social activities.

Furthermore

, parents must teach their kids to be

dicipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

disciplined

For instance

, teach their teenagers to put a timer on a mobile phone or laptop to remind

that

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them that

show examples

it's time to stop playing with social media. All in all, even though the

internet

can bring a lot of benefits, it comes with

the

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apply

show examples

drawbacks which distance

people

with

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from

show examples

their reality. To manage

this problems

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this problem

these problems

show examples

, parents have

significant

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a significant

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role

to distract

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in distracting

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their children from getting attached to the

internet

by giving them the opportunity to experience other activities and

teach

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teaching

show examples

them the importance of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time.

Submitted by gestienanovitasari on Mon Feb 05 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task response, make sure you fully develop your main ideas with more specific examples and explanations. Expand on the points you've made and present clear arguments that address both parts of the question: the perceived dangers of the Internet to social skills and the solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, organize your paragraphs effectively with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences to encapsulate the points made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Isolation
Face-to-face interactions
Cyberbullying
Anonymity
Harassment
Social media
Superficial relationships
Sedentary lifestyle
Communication skills
Virtual validation
Self-esteem
Online communities
Parental guidance
Digital literacy
Awareness programs
Constructive use
Setting boundaries
Social development
Meaningful connections

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Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. Why do you think the Internet is seen as dangerous in this way and what can we do to ensure that it does not harm the social development of teenagers and young adults?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that sports teach children how to compete, while other believe that learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

A lot of people who wanted to become professional athletes gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents' pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who want to do a career in sports?

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Some people believe that all companies’ decisions should be decided by managers, while others think that it is better to include employees in decision making. Discuss both views and give your opinion?