IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
In the present day, with the rapid development of technology, we can have various options of
activities
 to do in our free
time
, including for
children
. Some
people
 believe
activities
 for
children
 should be planned by parents, but others argue that
children
 should be able to choose their free
time
activities
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss and elucidate both opinions and
also
 give my point of view.
Firstly
,
people
 consider that
children
's
activities
 should be organized by parents because
children
 tend to pick
activities
 to do in their free
time
 only based on what they like. Nowadays,
children
 are most likely to spend their
time
 playing online video games, watching
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 or YouTube videos and other
activities
 that lead to a bad habit and addiction, so
that is
 why some
people
 agree that
children
's
activities
 need to be planned by their parents, so the
activities
 will align with the aim to develop their mental and physique. In contrast,
people
 believe that
children
 should be free to choose what they want to do because it will help them to understand more about themselves, what they like and dislike, and provide them more space and
time
 to develop their hobbies.
Additionally
, habituating
children
 to pick their own
activities
 will teach them to be more independent and responsible. In my opinion, I agree that
children
 should be able to choose the
activities
 they want to do in their free
time
, but parental guidance and supervision are
also
 very important so they will choose the activity that has a positive impact.
Submitted by rlsk.2899 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure the introduction sets the tone of the essay clearly, stating both sides of the argument and your thesis.
Body
Develop each main point with more detailed examples and explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay.
Conclusion
Expand the conclusion by summarizing the discussion points and clearly stating your stance.
Examples
Aim to support your arguments with concrete examples or evidence for a stronger impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: