Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.
Some
individuals
claim that the main purpose of education
is to make citizens beneficial for the
society and Correct article usage
apply
brings
their concerns in a distinct way. There have been, Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
however
, the
others have Correct article usage
apply
argument
that Replace the word
argued
education
should assist people to achieve
their goals and personal ambitions. To me, it is logical that subscribe Change preposition
in achieving
the
second claim.
Among Change preposition
to the
many
it is argued that the central purpose of Add a comma
many,
education
system which at the top of it, post-doctoral stands, is Add an article
the education
an education
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
pupils
in a way that Change preposition
of pupils
be
more advantageous for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
country
. Add an article
the country
This
idea is growing rapidly among passive voice
because they might have unrealistic Fix the agreement mistake
voices
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
to
the mentioned phenomenon which is a controversial subject. It should be noted thatChange preposition
of
,
it would not be deniable that, if citizens Remove the comma
apply
be
educated in various Wrong verb form
were
field
, Fix the agreement mistake
fields
work
more precisely and Correct word choice
and work
as a consequence
the whole system of country
which contains companies, government, and universities anticipate Add an article
the country
to reach
the highest quality.
Change the verb form
reaching
While others
, Correct word choice
Others
which
are among opponents, claim that Fix the agreement mistake
who
education
is a way that individuals
accumulate their personal purposes such
as,
money, succession, and calmness. Take, Remove the comma
apply
for instance
, it can be
observed of surroundings that one who Verb problem
apply
have
Change the verb form
has
qualification
is Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
it
more likely to find a job with Correct pronoun usage
apply
high
salary, Correct article usage
a high
also
job satisfaction. To clarify, the companies provide high quality
services for Add a hyphen
high-quality
the
Correct article usage
apply
individuals
with preferred ability
.
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
To conclude
, from what has been discussed above, Although
, the
considerable amount of Correct article usage
a
individuals
opine that further
education
is for using one to be beneficial, but
others think Remove the conjunction
apply
education
is for acquiring personal goals, which
I fully Correct word choice
and
conform
Correct your spelling
confirm
this
perspective because it is more rational to mind.Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic, body paragraphs should discuss each viewpoint, and the conclusion should summarize and state your opinion distinctly.
grammar
Work on sentence structure for clarity and reduce grammatical errors. The essay contains several instances of poor grammar which impede understanding.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Concrete examples can greatly strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more effectively.
task addressment
Be sure to directly address the task given and fully develop your argument for each view, as well as providing a reasoned opinion. The response should be balanced to cover all parts of the prompt.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of your essay and to show the relationship between ideas.
vocabulary
You need to display a broader range of vocabulary and less repetitive language. This comes with reading widely and practicing with varied topics.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.