Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
individuals
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claim that the main purpose of
education
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is to make citizens beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
brings
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bring
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their concerns in a distinct way. There have been,
however
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,
the
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apply
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others have
argument
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argued
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that
education
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should assist people
to achieve
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in achieving
show examples
their goals and personal ambitions. To me, it is logical that subscribe
the
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to the
show examples
second claim. Among
many
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many,
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it is argued that the central purpose of
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
an education
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system which at the top of it, post-doctoral stands, is
upbringing
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the upbringing
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pupils
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of pupils
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in a way that
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more advantageous for
country
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the country
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.
This
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idea is growing rapidly among passive
voice
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voices
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because they might have unrealistic
view
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views
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to
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of
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the mentioned phenomenon which is a controversial subject. It should be noted that
,
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apply
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it would not be deniable that, if citizens
be
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were
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educated in various
field
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fields
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,
work
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and work
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more precisely and
as a consequence
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the whole system of
country
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the country
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which contains companies, government, and universities anticipate
to reach
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reaching
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the highest quality.
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While others
Correct word choice
Others
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,
which
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who
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are among opponents, claim that
education
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is a way that
individuals
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accumulate their personal purposes
such
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as
,
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apply
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money, succession, and calmness. Take,
for instance
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, it
can be
Verb problem
apply
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observed of surroundings that one who
have
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has
show examples
qualification
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qualifications
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is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more likely to find a job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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salary,
also
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job satisfaction. To clarify, the companies provide
high quality
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high-quality
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services for
the
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apply
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individuals
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with preferred
ability
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abilities
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.
To conclude
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, from what has been discussed above,
Although
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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considerable amount of
individuals
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opine that
further
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education
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is for using one to be beneficial,
but
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apply
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others think
education
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is for acquiring personal goals,
which
Correct word choice
and
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I fully
conform
Correct your spelling
confirm
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this
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perspective because it is more rational to mind.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic, body paragraphs should discuss each viewpoint, and the conclusion should summarize and state your opinion distinctly.
grammar
Work on sentence structure for clarity and reduce grammatical errors. The essay contains several instances of poor grammar which impede understanding.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Concrete examples can greatly strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more effectively.
task addressment
Be sure to directly address the task given and fully develop your argument for each view, as well as providing a reasoned opinion. The response should be balanced to cover all parts of the prompt.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of your essay and to show the relationship between ideas.
vocabulary
You need to display a broader range of vocabulary and less repetitive language. This comes with reading widely and practicing with varied topics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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