Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

It is argued that the
media
coverage
of
celebrities
is hurting
children
. It is agreed that many people believe that
such
coverage
can lead to
children
feeling inadequate, and imitating unhealthy behaviours.
This
essay will provide more arguments and examples on
this
to cover the topic in
further
paragraphs. The first and foremost argument is why
media
coverage
of
celebrities
affects negativity in
children
. Because of
this
, many
children
feel inadequate, which impacts their academic performance and social behaviour.
For example
, a recent article claims that there were 60 % of minors nowadays consume alcohol and drugs
due to
following their favourite
celebrities
engaging in
media
coverage
in the United States of America.
Hence
,
it is clear that
this
leads them to commit crimes and be the person they imitate, though improvising
this
circumstance the government should impose rules to protect the future of the generation. Another negative factor would be unhealthy behaviour and unrealistic expectations as optional reasons to impact to disturb others.
For instance
, materialism
also
leads
children
to constant exposure to the luxurious lifestyle of
celebrities
can distract them from developing materialistic tendencies and desiring expensive clothes and accessories they do not necessarily need, which can lead to issues
such
as high crime rates and financial strain on parents.
Thus
,
this
media
coverage
ruins the
children
's lifestyle and their future by diverting them into it. In conclusion, the
media
coverage
of ideals can negatively impact
children
by influencing their behaviour, fostering materialism, distorting their perceptions, and encouraging privacy invasion.
Submitted by patelhardik2199 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear statement of your position regarding the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt. This sets the stage for a coherent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Connect your ideas more effectively by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting sentences that are directly related.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and explore it in depth.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and restates your position, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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