IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

Most individuals are aware that an unhealthy diet or a lack of sleep negatively affects their well-being. Despite
this
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,
such
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 behaviours are surprisingly common. I believe that time pressure, psychological patterns, and insufficient motivation can explain
this
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. I will explore these issues in the following paragraphs and suggest a few potential solutions. The first factor is that a packed schedule leaves little space for healthy routines. For most adults, full-time work and family obligations take priority, often at the expense of cooking or exercising. Getting enough sleep is
also
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 not easily achieved.
According to
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 research, regularly getting fewer than seven hours of rest increases the risk of anxiety and heart-related illnesses. Even if people understand
this
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, they often struggle to make changes unless they are provided with proper support or are able to make a conscious effort on their own. The situation is made worse by how easily unhealthy options are available. A good example is staying on social media, which releases dopamine, making it harder to break bad habits.
In addition
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, motivation vanishes when growth is either slow or concealed, leading people to feel that their efforts are meaningless.
On the other hand
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, there are several measures to address the issues. One is introducing small, manageable changes,
such
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 as taking brief walks or preparing simple meals in advance. These require minimal time but still lead to noticeable improvements.
Secondly
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, access to mental health professionals might help people cope with emotional triggers.
Lastly
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, governments and workplaces could promote healthy lifestyles through practical programmes and initiatives, including subsidised gym memberships or flexible work hours. In summary, humans often continue unhealthy routines
due to
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 stress, emotional dependence, and low motivation. Yet, a healthier life can become more realistic with gradual steps and the proper support.

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your introduction by providing a brief overview of the solutions you will discuss, which can help set expectations for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. This can help connect the causes to the solutions more clearly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, particularly in the causes section, which can make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both causes and solutions effectively, demonstrating a solid command of the subject matter.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs each focused on distinct ideas, which aids readability.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
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