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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#australian #bureau #meteorology #up-to-the-minute #information #weather #forecasts #report #university #lecturer
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The diagram explains the
process
Use synonyms
 of gathering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real-time information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 weather by
Meteorology
Correct article usage
the Meteorology
show examples
 Australian Bureau to predict a
possibility
Replace the word
possible
show examples
 status and announce
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 the public.
Overall
Linking Words
 the
process
Use synonyms
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of 10 stages in transforming from the raw data to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily weather
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 starting with incoming information and ending with broadcasting
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. At the beginning of the
process
Use synonyms
, the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from the satellite
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 analysis and
change
Wrong verb form
is changed
show examples
 into a photo. The second way is that the raw data from the radar are plotted on the radar screen with
graphic
Correct article usage
a graphic
show examples
 diagram, and the
last
Linking Words
 way is that
synoptic
Correct article usage
a synoptic
show examples
 chart is created from the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 provided by drifting
buoy
Fix the agreement mistake
buoys
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 radar or satellite as well. In the next stage of the
process
Use synonyms
, the
forcasts
Correct your spelling
forecasts
 are prepared for broadcasting by computer transmission. In the
last
Linking Words
 step, up-to-minute data are sent to the individuals or households
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV, radio and recorded
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
 as well.
Submitted by krist_ar03 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Meteorology
  • Accurate weather forecasts
  • Satellite images
  • Radar
  • Drifting buoys
  • Central forecasting office
  • Dedicated communication channels
  • Analyzed and interpreted
  • Meteorologists
  • Advanced computer models
  • Weather predictions
  • Distributed
  • General public and specific stakeholders
  • Television, radio, internet
  • Continuous updates
  • Ever-changing nature
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