Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are thought to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Undoubtedly, teaching
kids
how to be successful in their studies is significant. At the same time, it is a commonly held belief that schools should develop a sense of competition in kids
' brains. There is also
an argument about useful adults learning how to cooperate instead
of competing, and they will be more helpful in the future. This
essay will analyse both views, and I will express my opinion.
On the one hand, competing between kids
can improve many skills
as well as
depending on themselves. In other words
, competition enhances young kid’s abilities to be special. Moreover
, schools can develop these skills
by comparing children's abilities in multiple subjects, rewording the best kid, and giving him toys to make him feel special. This
method will create goals for some of the kids
, and they will start to achieve them. However
, there are many issues with the idea of comparing young kids
to themselves. For instance
, some young people will be upset by selecting only the best students, creating a toxic mentality for some kids
.
On the other hand
, cooperation can be used in many ways, such
as schooling, working, and playing. This
will make life easier for isolated children and will teach them how to be creative and how to work with any gender on any project. Besides
, there is not a single issue in cooperation that will increase children's skills
in the future. For example
, a study showed that 69% of kids
who were taught how to cooperate with their colleagues became successful when they became adults. In addition
, they will have no difficulty working with a team.
In conclusion, there is no easy way to answer this
question. On balance, however
, there is a massive difference between cooperating and competing since they all focus on different skills
. However
, I prefer that cooperation is more important than challenging other people due to
the toxic effects of competing.Submitted by ferasmirza11 on
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task achievement
Ensure a balanced exploration of both views. Consider giving equal depth to the discussion of advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Work on sentence variety and more precise vocabulary to enhance the overall sophistication of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few repetitive phrases. Try to use synonyms or various linguistic structures to avoid repetition.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the discussion effectively, outlining both perspectives well.
logical structure
Use of structured paragraphs helps in logically organizing the main points and examples, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.
supported main points
Each argument is generally supported with examples or explanations, which adds clarity.