Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are thought to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Undoubtedly, teaching
kids
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how to be successful in their studies is significant. At the same time, it is a commonly held belief that schools should develop a sense of competition in
kids
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' brains. There is
also
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an argument about useful adults learning how to cooperate
instead
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of competing, and they will be more helpful in the future.
This
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essay will analyse both views, and I will express my opinion. On the one hand, competing between
kids
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can improve many
skills
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as well as
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depending on themselves.
In other words
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, competition enhances young kid’s abilities to be special.
Moreover
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, schools can develop these
skills
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by comparing children's abilities in multiple subjects, rewording the best kid, and giving him toys to make him feel special.
This
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method will create goals for some of the
kids
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, and they will start to achieve them.
However
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, there are many issues with the idea of comparing young
kids
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to themselves.
For instance
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, some young people will be upset by selecting only the best students, creating a toxic mentality for some
kids
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.
On the other hand
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, cooperation can be used in many ways,
such
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as schooling, working, and playing.
This
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will make life easier for isolated children and will teach them how to be creative and how to work with any gender on any project.
Besides
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, there is not a single issue in cooperation that will increase children's
skills
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in the future.
For example
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, a study showed that 69% of
kids
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who were taught how to cooperate with their colleagues became successful when they became adults.
In addition
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, they will have no difficulty working with a team. In conclusion, there is no easy way to answer
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, there is a massive difference between cooperating and competing since they all focus on different
skills
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.
However
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, I prefer that cooperation is more important than challenging other people
due to
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the toxic effects of competing.
Submitted by ferasmirza11 on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced exploration of both views. Consider giving equal depth to the discussion of advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Work on sentence variety and more precise vocabulary to enhance the overall sophistication of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few repetitive phrases. Try to use synonyms or various linguistic structures to avoid repetition.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the discussion effectively, outlining both perspectives well.
logical structure
Use of structured paragraphs helps in logically organizing the main points and examples, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.
supported main points
Each argument is generally supported with examples or explanations, which adds clarity.
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