IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Every country in the world has problems with pollution and damage to the environment. Do you think these problems can be solved

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In modern life, contamination and its adverse effects on the environment have become major issues for every nation. In my opinion, industrial activities play a role in
this
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 practice,
therefore
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, renewable energy prioritization should become the primary measure to tackle
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with,
while
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 the Industrial Revolution was a great success in terms of technology, it
also
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 resulted in the generation of huge quantities of atmospheric pollutants that are toxic to humans.
This
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 is owing to the fact that they release greenhouse gases
such
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 as carbon dioxide and methane, which cause the earth's average temperature to rise, a phenomenon known as global warming.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will damage society, notably by raising the chance of developing respiratory disease, which can lead to death.
For example
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, a recent study discovered that anthropogenic airborne emissions produced by rising poisonous gases are one of the most serious public health concerns, accounting for almost 9 million fatalities per year. To address
this
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 issue, the government should emphasize renewable energy supplies, namely solar and wind, over conventional ones.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that the former did not emit damaging emissions,
whereas
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 the latter did;
hence
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, it is unlikely to trigger health problems.
For instance
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, the majority of electricity used in the Netherlands is generated by wind power plants.
As a result
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, they were able to reduce airborne particles that were harming the community, and
this
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 has successfully improved its citizens' quality of life and life expectancy. In conclusion, there is an increasing number of potentially risky substances in industrial emissions that might lead to health difficulties. Considering clean energy sources is the principal strategy that authorities can take to mitigate the detrimental impact of
this
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 matter.

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introduction
Ensure the introduction explicitly addresses the question, outlining the significance of the issue and how it relates to a global context.
paragraph structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by an explanation and a relevant example. For added sophistication, occasionally include counterarguments followed by refutation.
coherence
Use transition phrases consistently to show relationships between ideas, which can help the reader follow the argument more easily.
examples
Include a wider range of examples to support points, and make sure examples are specific rather than general.
task response
Try to cover a variety of solutions rather than focusing on one to give the impression of a deeper understanding of the issue.
conclusion
The conclusion should summarize the key points made in the essay and directly answer the question posed, affirming the writer's opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global warming
  • sustainability
  • ecosystem
  • renewable resources
  • conservation
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • deforestation
  • emissions
  • sustainable development
  • biodegradable
  • recycling
  • clean energy
  • afforestation
  • toxic waste
  • overfishing
  • environmental degradation
  • ozone depletion
  • natural habitat
  • ecological balance
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