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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

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Nowadays, experts have been worried that
poverty
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 is a serious and global
problem
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 that affects the health of growing children. It is claimed that young
people
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 who live in
poverty
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 suffer from many dangerous problems. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
problem
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 but some of them will be taken by governments. It is commonly known that
poverty
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 causes many problems that are hard to solve in undeveloped
countries
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.
In particular
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, a number of children starve because these young
people
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 do not have many of the services necessary for their health and they don't have enough money to buy food or medicine.
For example
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,
people
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 in these
countries
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 spend their whole lives in
poverty
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 separate from the modern world.
Furthermore
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, low-income households have no choices when they are hungry because they eat food to survive, not for pleasure because poor
people
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 cannot afford to have safe foods that may cause serious illness. To solve these problems, many developed
countries
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 around the world are trying to break
poverty
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.They send essential aid
such
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 as food to poor
countries
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 like Africa.
For example
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, Uzbekistan sends necessary things to undeveloped
countries
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.Not only Uzbekistan but
also
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 all of the rich
countries
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 help
poverty
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countries
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.
In addition
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, if experienced doctors from developed regions were sent to poor regions as volunteers and treated sick
people
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 well, it would be a good way to solve
this
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poverty
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 happening. In conclusion,
although
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poverty
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 is a serious
problem
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 for many of the world's children, several of them can be taken by developed
countries
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 and governments to deal with
this
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problem
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.

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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points to be discussed, the body paragraphs should elaborate on these points with examples, and the conclusion should summarize the key findings.
coherence
To improve coherence, link ideas more clearly using appropriate connectors. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
examples
Focus on providing more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay by illustrating the impact of poverty on society more vividly.
task response
Address the task more comprehensively by discussing in equal measure the effects of poverty on society and suggesting a range of solutions. Ensure that both aspects of the prompt are given thorough consideration.
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