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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #program #olympics #cricket #television #adults #exercise #say
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It is often argued that television
programs
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, especially those featuring sports like the Olympics and cricket, play a significant role in fostering motivation for adults to engage in
exercise
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.
However
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, there are contrasting ideas that believe in alternative ways to promote physical activity.
While
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 showcasing these types of
programs
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 may contribute to individual motivation, I believe that relying solely on watching
programs
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 isn’t the most effective way to stimulate our brains to engage in
exercise
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. On the one hand, there are some people who are inspired by television broadcasts of sports events. These
programs
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 serve as inspiring and motivating competitions that are considered as a guide for how people can devote themselves to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 their goals in physical activities.
This
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 is important for spectators to emulate the
exercise
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 routines of experts. A good example of
this
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 is the YouTube channels that showcase their workouts, especially during the pandemic era.
On the other hand
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, there are other ways to thrive in fitness that might be more effective. It is undeniable that accurate training is the most important part of the sport. So, people may need a guide to show them how to do activities properly and strengthen their muscles without harm.
Additionally
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, individuals may have versatile interests and don’t want to stick solely to one way.
For instance
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, I have been doing Pilates regularly since I started working with a trainer.
Also
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, there are handy apps that can help individuals
exercise
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 steadily with reminder notifications. In conclusion,
although
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 television
programs
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 encourage physical activities among adults, a diverse approach is likely to be more effective
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and is expanded with relevant examples and further explanation to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure within paragraphs by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.
task achievement
Include a clear opinion statement in your introduction and make sure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay and clearly states your stance.
task achievement
Provide more relevant, specific examples to illustrate and support your main points. Use these examples to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Televised sports
  • Fitness levels
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Community fitness programs
  • Infrastructure
  • Workplace wellness
  • Fitness apps
  • Wearable tech
  • Peer pressure
  • Group activities
  • Health campaigns
  • Educational programs
  • Multifaceted approach
  • Emulation
  • Motivation
  • Awareness
  • Admiration
  • Passive watching
  • Active participation
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