You are working for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, you should: · describe why you want to take the course · explaining how it will be beneficial to the company · tell who will be managing your work in your absence. Write at least 150 words

Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing
this
letter to get permission from you to attend one of the courses named, first aid.
To begin
with, I am working as a caregiver and working closely with old people
as well as
children.
This
course will be helpful not only for offspring but
also
for the elderly as I can provide better care to them in their difficult time
such
as choking. Apart from that, learning
this
course will be helpful to our company as well because of the improvement in our services.
In addition
, they have seminars in the heart of the city where a number of people are coming from different locations and
this
will be helpful for us to promote our company for essential care. To explain
further
, there is no fee for these courses as everything is covered by the government.
To conclude
, my co-worker, Sandeep, is
also
willing to attend these classes and we are helping each other to cover our shifts.
Furthermore
, she is looking for extra hours to cover because of some financial crisis in her family.
Therefore
, there will be no issue
while
I am absent for three days from the 27th to the 31st of August. I would be grateful if you could allow me to attend these classes. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Kind regards, Gurpinder Kaur
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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coherence cohesion
It is important to maintain a consistent and logical structure throughout your letter to ensure that each point is clearly made and the overall message is coherent. While the logical structure is adequate, improvements can be made by creating a more cohesive flow from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Be sure to address all the points in the task prompt to achieve a full response. The task is completed, but more detailed explanations and development could enhance the response.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, well done keeping the writing tone suitable for the context of a professional work environment.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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