IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more prisons are being built to house the world's criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that keeping the world's
criminals
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 inside
prison
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 is the solution to crime throughout the world,
while
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 others believe that proper
medication
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 and psychological assistance play a vital role in resolving crime issues.
Although
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 sometimes
criminals
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 may be put in
prison
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 to follow the rules, I believe that with proper treatment and support from those around them,
this
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 problem can be solved. Long-term imprisonment always has a negative impact on human behaviour. Rather than making it helpful for a person to become a good person, it always impacts people in a bad way. In the event that a criminal is kept in
prison
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, it is mostly possible that he or she may come into contact with other
criminals
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 who have been in
prison
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 for a longer time. In that, it is mostly possible that people's behaviour gets impacted by other prisoners, which will make it impossible to come out of crimes.
Although
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criminals
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 conduct crimes, if they are put in long-term
prison
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,
then
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 society will not accept them properly, as the criminal has spent a long time in
prison
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 with other
criminals
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. As they are not socially accepted, it is hard for them to come out of criminal acts; rather, they will continue doing the same kind of
activities
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. The most effective way to make a criminal out of these bad
activities
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 is through
medication
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 and psychological assistance from his family and society. If anyone involved themselves in criminal
activities
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,
then
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 without sending them to
prison
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, it is better to consult with the criminal and make them understand the fault. It should be understood in
such
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 a way that they feel guilty for their act. If family and others, including social organizations, can make
criminals
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 understand that because of criminal
activities
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, the world is facing losses,
Moreover
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, it is the duty of every social organization that everyone in society should not expend any negative thoughts on any criminal who will go through a rehabilitation.
On the other hand
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, presently, medical science has improved a lot of technology, and various kinds of
medication
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 have been invented to support people mentally and physically.
For example
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, we can find a number of rehabilitation centres where a number of
criminals
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 are kept for psychological treatment.
Overall
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, the results of
this
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 type of
medication
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 and psychological interventions are satisfactory.
To sum up
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, it can be said that,
instead
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 of sending
criminals
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 to jail for their crimes, if we can make them understand their fault by supporting them psychologically and undergoing proper
medication
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,
this
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 problem can be easily eradicated.

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Introduction
Make sure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points of the discussion and your stance. This will set the stage for the rest of the essay.
Coherence Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This includes conjunctions, pronouns, and transition phrases.
Main Points
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea, each supported by specific examples or evidence. This will help in elaborating on the points made and demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic.
Logical Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This guides the reader and makes the argument more coherent.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, concisely summarize the main points made in the essay and clearly restate your opinion. This reinforces the arguments made and provides a clear end to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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