IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is
factories
Use synonyms
. There are even entrepreneurs who tend to locate
factories
Use synonyms
 near the area where there are close living communities. In the succeeding paragraphs, the positives and negatives of
this
Linking Words
 practice are to be discussed
along with
Linking Words
 the writer's view on the matter. The first point to emphasize is increasing the employment rate. It is a common fact that a running factory can provide enormous job opportunities in the nearby community for
residents
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, a manufacturing factory is normally willing to hire
residents
Use synonyms
 from nearby areas owing to the fact that the distance isn't far away from home to the workplace
as a result
Linking Words
 the attendance rate can remain higher because of no traffic problems.
Consequently
Linking Words
, establishing
factories
Use synonyms
 in nearby communities not only offers ample job opportunities for
residents
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 encourages them to stay in their hometowns for
further
Linking Words
 development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
factories
Use synonyms
 may create a mass of pollutants that can affect the surrounding neighbourhood. The reason is that the manufacturing process emits a large amount of toxic substances.
For instance
Linking Words
, the process of making detergent generally produces a large number of emissions that are lethal, and the liquids will flow into rivers causing land pollution and air pollution
further
Linking Words
 impacting the health of
residents
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, my opinion is that the economic advancement of local communities depends on the opportunity for jobs with manufacturing development.
However
Linking Words
 one should bear in mind that sustainable development doesn't just rely on destruction,
also
Linking Words
 relies on protection

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you did discuss advantages and disadvantages, integrating more specific examples and a clearer stance could strengthen your argument. Consider adding more detailed examples to support your points and clearly state your position in both the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence
Improve coherence by linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices appropriately to guide the reader through your argument. While your essay has a clear structure, smoother transitions between points can enhance the reading experience.
Cohesion
Work on cohesion by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a singular main idea and that every sentence within it directly supports that idea. This involves crafting topic sentences more explicitly and making sure all subsequent sentences in a paragraph bolster the main point introduced at the beginning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment
  • pollution
  • congestion
  • wildlife
  • regulations
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • housing shortages
  • living costs
  • influx
  • mitigate
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: