A company has announced that it is wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your country. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

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Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is
factories
. There are even entrepreneurs who tend to locate
factories
near the area where there are close living communities. In the succeeding paragraphs, the positives and negatives of
this
practice are to be discussed
along with
the writer's view on the matter. The first point to emphasize is increasing the employment rate. It is a common fact that a running factory can provide enormous job opportunities in the nearby community for
residents
. To illustrate, a manufacturing factory is normally willing to hire
residents
from nearby areas owing to the fact that the distance isn't far away from home to the workplace
as a result
the attendance rate can remain higher because of no traffic problems.
Consequently
, establishing
factories
in nearby communities not only offers ample job opportunities for
residents
but
also
encourages them to stay in their hometowns for
further
development.
On the other hand
,
factories
may create a mass of pollutants that can affect the surrounding neighbourhood. The reason is that the manufacturing process emits a large amount of toxic substances.
For instance
, the process of making detergent generally produces a large number of emissions that are lethal, and the liquids will flow into rivers causing land pollution and air pollution
further
impacting the health of
residents
. In conclusion, my opinion is that the economic advancement of local communities depends on the opportunity for jobs with manufacturing development.
However
one should bear in mind that sustainable development doesn't just rely on destruction,
also
relies on protection
Submitted by rosolook on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you did discuss advantages and disadvantages, integrating more specific examples and a clearer stance could strengthen your argument. Consider adding more detailed examples to support your points and clearly state your position in both the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence
Improve coherence by linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices appropriately to guide the reader through your argument. While your essay has a clear structure, smoother transitions between points can enhance the reading experience.
Cohesion
Work on cohesion by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a singular main idea and that every sentence within it directly supports that idea. This involves crafting topic sentences more explicitly and making sure all subsequent sentences in a paragraph bolster the main point introduced at the beginning.
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