In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion

A few citizens of countries obtain their earnings enormously. Some nations opt for what is a precise decision and good for their nations' fates, whilst another segment of the society analyzes that the head of the country ought to manage and recalculate the people's wages. There are several options to resolve the issue of salaries in countries.
This
essay will shed some light on the issue and discuss both points of view. On the one hand, financial earnings, which are beyond the normal boundary, are the better option for states' fate.
Moreover
,
this
kind of salary is decided for the public who are working in a critical organisation position. By doing
this
, workers are going to be loyal to their workplaces.
For example
, recent research concludes that Facebook employee sold data, which Facebook are holding their users' information, to third parties for a huge amount of money and S/he said that it happened because the company did not evaluate his/her effort fairly.
On the other hand
,
this
action exists because of manipulating worldwide statistics which accompanied by several high-level organizations.
Furthermore
, if a few individuals earn high payroll and the rest of the communities obtain wages under than expected, the average salary of the country will seen as normal in surveys. By doing that, states, that do not have democratic institutions, can run from multiple foreign countries and companies.
To sum up
, it can be seen clearly that these views have as the benefits as drawbacks. From my point of view, a happy medium must be found between the two approaches. The government should implement both views, not only high income can be given to folk who work in certain kinds of titles, but
also
these fees should not be more extremely enormous.
Submitted by nurbala788788 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Focus on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the essay more distinctly. This will help frame your essay more effectively for the reader.
logical flow
Work on organizing your paragraphs more logically, ensuring there's a clear progression of ideas from one section to the next. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
support
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples or reasons. While general statements are made, more detailed examples could strengthen your arguments.
task response
Aim to directly address the essay prompt in your response by clearly discussing both views and more explicitly stating your opinion on the matter. Your response should directly answer the question posed.
cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: